Don't want drama but don't want other girls being lied to
August 27, 2012 7:24 AM Subscribe
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three and a half years. In the time we were still living together but broken up I found out he was starting several relationships. Should I let these women know?
posted by anonymous to human relations (88 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
We broke up after pretty six months. He seemed to be depressed for several months and it caused major problems in our relationship. I tried to work on things for several months with the help of a counselor but little help from him.
After we’d broken up, I saw an email account up on his work computer that wasn’t the one that he used with me. So I started looking. I know I shouldn’t have, but I found he’d started some things with about five different women during our troubled times.
I’m kind of upset he seemed to be lining up other girls during the time we were still going out, but it explains some things. I had my suspicions that something was up before we had broken up because of noticing a sudden increase in texts on our phone. I think he was having an emotional affair if not a physical one at that point.
Anyway, it’s clear from email that some things are developing into a relationship with at least three people. I emailed myself some of the more incriminating stuff.
ne woman is local and it sounds like they’ll soon be dating. One I found a flight to visit her. (Sidenote he told me he’d be hiking, and I’m what is now his dog). One is practically begging him to come visit.
As far as I can tell none of these women know about the other.
I feel I have been lied to for the past four months. All of these ladies seem really sweet and like people I’d potentially like to know. And some have really laid out that they are vulnerable at the moment or inexperienced in relationship. Anyway, if I were in their shoes, I’d like to know before things got anymore serious. But I’m conflicted because I don’t know any of them and really it’s none of my business.
I’m incredibly happy to have broken up with him, especially if this is how he treats myself and others.
So should I tell him I know? Should I let the the other women know? And if so, how should I go about it? Should I still watch the dog I love to bits?