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Help me cover my ass....literally.
August 9, 2012 9:44 PM   Subscribe

Help me cover my ass....literally.

Wanted: underwear that is not made for 60-year old ladies but that also doesn't leave 63% of your buttocks flapping in the wind.

I'm fairly thin, 20s, female. My butt is on the small side of average, if anything. Surely it's possible to find underwear that completely covers it? It's super uncomfortable to have lines crossing mid-cheek and worse, they almost always ride up. I've looked in your typical chain underwear-selling stores and everything they have is exactly the few same shapes, none of which work.

Thongs are ok but not for every day. "Hipsters" are even worse than bikini-cut. Boy shorts seem like they might work but they're awfully bulky and the loose legs always end up riding up anyway. Plus, since you can't try it on first or return it, half the time even the ones labelled as boy shorts still leave half moons hanging out. Again, my butt is on the small side and I'm wearing an appropriate size (medium). If I try a larger size it just rides up more since it's so loose. I'm guessing I just haven't tried the right brands.

If it helps, I found one pair that I liked, ever - they had an elastic band around the legs that kept them from riding up, so they stayed put, and were otherwise bikini-shaped, but covering more area. Sorta like "briefs" shape but with a normal low waist. No idea what brand they are, but would love to find more.

Recommendations please!

Difficulties:

1) prefer cotton (active and sweat a lot)
2) as inexpensive as possible
3) ships to easily/located in Canada
4) low-waisted (same as bikini-cut), so "briefs" are out
5) non-ridiculous looking, lace discouraged (plain black is my favourite, no frills)

Bikini (not boy short-style) swimsuit bottom recommendations along these lines also welcomed!
posted by randomnity to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (25 answers total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
 
This doesn't match 1 or 2, but has 3-5 in the bag: Jockey's No Panty Line Promise modern briefs. I think they are normally $16 a pair at Sears and the Bay but both regularly have them 40% off or buy 2 get one free. FWIW I am fairly active and sweaty and don't find these particularly stanky.
posted by looli at 9:54 PM on August 9, 2012


THESE ARE THE BEST. I can find them in all-black with black stitching a lot. sometimes at winners! I'm pretty sure the canadian branch of macy's will also ship them? my underwear requirements sound pretty similar, and I bought a pair of those, and then went back and bought the other 17 that winners had from two different stores.

I also have a few pairs by HUE that I like quite a lot, I'm pretty sure they're these.
posted by euphoria066 at 9:57 PM on August 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


Jockeys are good - and I've found them 3 for $15 at the Bay.

You can try on underwear at some places - you just do so over your underwear (like trying on a bathing suit).
posted by jb at 10:29 PM on August 9, 2012


I've been happy with these and my butt is more on the bigger size of average. They also have some without the lace (although it's pretty low-key as lace goes) like these . They sell them at big box stores here but I sometimes just order online so I can get the colors and size I want easily.
posted by klugarsh at 10:29 PM on August 9, 2012


Iand all my friends exclusively wear these and I can't recommend them enough. They meet all your criteria and although not cheap, last a long time. I'm wearing some right now and my not-insignificant cheeks are comfy and covered.
posted by Wantok at 11:11 PM on August 9, 2012 [1 favorite]


getcher'self some Willie Wickers!
(no idea where in Canada you are, I get mine at 3 Vets in Vancouver)
posted by mannequito at 1:20 AM on August 10, 2012


Exactly two years ago almost to the day I recommended Hanes bikinis here. I stand by the recommendation!
posted by limeonaire at 5:45 AM on August 10, 2012


I could have written this exact question. Jockey bikini are the BEST and you can get them in straight black.
posted by orangemacky at 6:41 AM on August 10, 2012


May I suggest men's underwear? Comfiest waist and leg bands, 100% cotton by default, very different color selection, sensible butt-coverage, generally does not ride up into thong territory unless it's designed as a thong. Men's sport styles are usually low-rise and don't have a fly. If you can get Hanes Sport Briefs where you are, try those. They don't poof out so much with unfulfilled crotch expectations. They're not really brief-sized either, definitely low rise.
posted by expialidocious at 7:57 AM on August 10, 2012


Sad thing is that these women's boxer briefs would have fit the bill perfectly. They were absolutely wedgie-free underwear that covered your whole ass and the legs did not ride. However, Hanes discontinued them.

I've tried various similar-looking styles but found nothing. I'll probably just start buying men's boxer briefs soon. I'd rather have the bulk than the wedge.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:15 AM on August 10, 2012


I LOVE Patagonia underwear.
posted by k8t at 8:39 AM on August 10, 2012


I look for panties that are not Hi-cut. Hanes and jockey make low-cut cotton panties. I usually get them in a 6-pack, where only 1/2 the colors are nice, but it's better than having a wedgie. Also, so may find the snugger fit of a small to do a better job.
posted by theora55 at 9:24 AM on August 10, 2012


Thanks for the answers so far, some very helpful suggestions! Just wanted to clarify that I've tried pretty much every style Hanes makes (bikini, boy shorts, hipsters, even the awful high-cut bikini) and they ALL ride up like crazy and/or don't cover anywhere close to everything.

Maybe I have a uniquely shaped butt or maybe they just don't make them the same here, I don't know.

Also forgot to mention that anything requiring special care is out - the absolute most I'll do is wash it on the gentle cycle, if I remember. I don't do special care laundry - it survives or it doesn't.
posted by randomnity at 10:25 AM on August 10, 2012


My experience is that Hanes doesn't have the same elasticity as the Jockey's I've bought (bikini/low cut) - so that they do ride-up/cover less over time. I've been really happy with 100% black cotton Jockeys, washed with everything else with no care.

But you're best bet is going to a middle-priced department store and just trying brands on.
posted by jb at 10:59 AM on August 10, 2012


You seem to be describing underwear of Asian mothers! If you search at stores that sell Asian undergarments, you might be able to find underwear that is 100% cotton, offers comfort and coverage and may even have those elastics around the thigh opening. I still use the pairs I get for birthdays and Christmas from well meaning elderly aunties as my "period panties" as they offer the best fit.
posted by loquat at 11:54 AM on August 10, 2012


Oh, and they aren't made for old pople, they're just not "sexy".
posted by loquat at 11:56 AM on August 10, 2012


Have you tried going down a size?
I'm fairly slim with a small butt. I normally wear thongs, but if i have to wear other kinds of panties, i've found that if they're not XS i will encounter the stretching and riding up problem.
I find boyshorts will cover your butt even if they are "too small"
posted by electriic at 12:33 PM on August 10, 2012


Seconding electriic-- "I'm fairly thin, 20s, female. My butt is on the small side of average, if anything." describes me exactly, and I wear XS to S for underwear. I usually just grab a 5/$20 sale at Gap, and I've had no trouble with with their stretch bikini style. 100% cotton, snug (not tight in the least and do not dig in), and I've never had them ride up.
posted by ilk at 1:20 PM on August 10, 2012


Nthing Jockey elance. Bonus: they've had the same style in their line for at least 15 years, so restocks are easy.
posted by momus_window at 1:48 PM on August 10, 2012


Why do hipsters not work for you? I have a 28" waist and 33" hips and I wear size 5 cotton Jockey hipsters all the time. I would totally avoid Barely There hipsters, which are the same shape but devolve into essentially thongs after 10 minutes. If I weren't so frugal I would throw those things in the trash.
posted by desjardins at 6:27 PM on August 10, 2012


Natori Bliss Girl Brief. They are cotton, don't ride up, come in lots of colors. Kind of pricey but worth it (a lot of department stores carry this brand so you should be able to find some on sale).
posted by citron at 7:07 PM on August 10, 2012


These and these from Felina have the elastic type bands around the legs that you mention (but they don't get tight around the legs, so maybe not). Either way, they are super, super comfy. They are not cotton, but modal, which has many of the benefits of cotton.
posted by echo0720 at 8:29 PM on August 10, 2012


Have you tried going down a size?

Yes for bikini-cut (awful - covers even less, as you'd expect) but I hadn't thought to try it for boy-shorts style, that might actually help with the riding up. Will try that. I'm a size 6 pants with average curves, if that helps.

Why do hipsters not work for you?

Far too short - even if I put them down so low that they just barely cover the crack, half your ass sticks out the bottom. It just feels really uncomfortable and also makes your butt look bisected (often visible through pants).

I've also never heard of anyone trying underwear on at the store, so I wasn't even thinking about that. Will see which places let you do that...

Still appreciating the suggestions, keep em coming :)
posted by randomnity at 8:32 PM on August 10, 2012


I wouldn't rule out lace. I've found that all my underwear with lace trimmed leg (and cotton everything else) ride up much less than any others. All mine have been purchased and general big box and chain stores...

I also wear a size smaller in my boy shorts (although my butt is slightly larger than normal). I didn't realize how much it helped until I mistakenly picked up a "wrong sized"pair.
posted by missriss89 at 9:44 PM on August 10, 2012


Update: I impulsively tried Hanes "comfortstretch" cotton hipsters again (new picture on the box, looked promising) and they are absolutely perfect! I'm not sure if they redesigned them or if I got a mispackaged one before or something, because the last time I tried their hipsters a few years ago, they were awful. Now to buy a million of them before they disappear again...

I'm going to keep in mind some of the suggestions here for the future, though - will definitely still try the Jockeys and maybe the Natoris as well and see if they're any more comfortable.

Thanks so much everyone :)
posted by randomnity at 9:07 AM on August 14, 2012


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