Are massage parlors cheating?
June 13, 2012 11:03 AM Subscribe
What do I do with a husband who has been getting handjobs @ massage parlors...help!
posted by momtothreedc to human relations (64 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I need some advice. Married to DH for 7 yrs with 3dc. I recently discovered he has visited "erotic massage parlors" twice in recent months to get a massage (and handjob), and he also admitted to doing it once before we had kids but after we were married. When we were dating he cheated on me 1x after being together 6mos and told me right away. I was devestated afterwards but loved him so much that I wanted to make things work and he wanted to as well. Our relationship improved and we married. I found out about the massage parlors by snooping- he did NOT come clean until I pressured him a great deal and even then I don't think he was honest about the details.
We were having sex- one visit was even the same day we had had sex so not like there was a legititmate "reason" for him to seek satisfaction elsewhere.
He says of course that this will never happen again, that in his mind he didn't realize he was crossing a line. etc. My issue is that 1) I don't feel it is logical for me to believe him, and also seems logical that if I know about these events there could be more I don't know, AND 2) I don't know that I even have it in me to forgive him and trust him again. I just feel like I am done even though it is awful to separate/divorce and not something I ever wanted.
Any advice? I am so torn. I want to be a good person and do the right thing here but I don't want to be a fool either...