Help me talk to my friend with cancer
May 16, 2012 11:02 AM Subscribe
My neighbor is dying of cancer. It's touch or go, and I am not sure, but it may be the end. I am young enough that I haven't known many people to die, and my neighbor is himself young. Not to be dramatic, but I don't know how to say goodbye and I'm nervous.
posted by scunning to human relations (17 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
A little background, fwiw. Their family is private and introverted, but kind and friendly with my family. We're close in age, and our kids are too, and we've spent a lot of time together over the last several years because we attend the same church. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is best friend or family, and 1 is a stranger, he is a 6.
I am not intuitively sure how to talk to him is my point -- what to say, how to say it. He isn't in hospice care, and is hoping to get well for another treatment, but some of what we've heard sounds like things could go very fast. So I worry that there isn't a shared knowledge that "he is dying", or that I shouldn't presume it, though right now he is dying, and I was told he almost didn't make it through the weekend.
Any advice or stories or just concepts that will help me understand this. I'm nervous.