I don't need this.
May 12, 2012 8:53 AM Subscribe
I am happily married, but I'm having trouble dealing with an ex who dumped me and now regrets it. Please help me not put my marriage at risk.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (38 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
A couple of years ago, when I was in my early 20s I dated a man who was 14 years older than me. I was head over heels with him, but I think he never really took me seriously. It was a wonderful relationship, though, and in the end he got seriously ill and broke up with me because I was too young to see him through chemotherapy. He got a girlfriend pretty much the next day he dumped me, and I was hurt for a while but got over it.
Fast-forward to my mid twenties, when I'm getting ready to get married. He finds out and tells me that he regrets not pursuing the relationship and will never find someone like me. I still have unresolved feelings for him. I manage to cut him off and get married.
Fast forward again, now I'm in my late twenties. He contacts me and tells me he adores me. I really can't deal. Now I dream about him and think about him. I LOVE my husband. To complicate things, I think my husband feels how important this man was in my life and he would not be happy to know that he has been writing to me. I am dying to reply to him.
This man has a way with words -he is a well known poet. I really want to be finally free of him, but I can't free myself from the feelings I had for him. I don't love him anymore. But I feel like part of me never stopped having a crush on him. I feel mad that he thinks he can write these things to me while I am married, but at the same time I feel like I'm finally getting what I wanted when I was young.
I want him out of my life but I also don't. What do I do?