Birthday party planning advice needed
May 1, 2012 4:04 PM Subscribe
As host, should I pay? Should I even I bring it up?
posted by hellameangirl to human relations (75 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I'm organizing a surprise party my boyfriend for his 30th birthday. We already have a dinner planned with his family later on, so this party is friends only. I've decided to have it at a Chinese dumpling place in for Sunday brunch. I've eaten there before and its cheap (like $10-$15 a person w/out booze). I'm also thinking of inviting everyone back to our place after for drinks and birthday cake (we live together) but that comes with other complications..like keeping it a surprise while stocking the house with booze and getting a cake.
So heres my question..since I'm doing the inviting, am I supposed to pay for the whole thing? I would prefer to just pay for one phase of the party. I don't mind covering the bill at the chinese place as long as people just order food, because beer & wine could double the bill. I also don't mind paying for cake and booze for after, if everyone splits the chinese.
I don't want to be tacky bringing up $ but I also don't like when I'm invited to parties where its vague if the host is paying or if everyone is expected to pitch in.
I guess my options are:
a) play it by ear. Don't mention $ and don't mention cake and booze in the invite and just see if people offer $ at bill time..people may very well expect to pay their own way. If I do end up footing the whole bill, then don't invite them over for cake/booze..
b) explain in the invite that I'll cover the meal (but not drinks) and request byob for coming back to the house. Get a small cake on the way home.
c) explain in the invite that I'll pay for myself and bf's share of chinese and ask that everyone else split the rest, but tell them I'll be buying dessert and drinks for everyone after.
-his friends are all 27-30 and not in high income brackets (most are either grad students or struggling artists or musicians)
-I've hung out with all his friends many times but don't have a real close relationship with any, so I feel a bit awkward here.
-I already sent a pre-invite asking 16 of his friends if they would be around that day. 10 people said yes, 2 said no and 2 haven't responded, so +bf and I it'll be a party of 12 or so
-I hope to only spend $200 or less for this, because I am also taking my boyfriend to Portland as his present which will cost around $1000, so its not like I'm being hella cheap here.
-the party invitation will just be an email, nothing fancy.
K thanks ahead of time for advice!