Old man starter kit November 18, 2011 7:33 AMSubscribe
My friend is turning 30 and thinks he's old. I'm getting him an old man starter kit: hard candies (Werther's Originals of course), Metamucil...what else should I include? posted by echo target to shopping (78 answers total) 37 users marked this as a favorite
An ear horn.
A coupon for a local buffet.
Sandals and socks
A brochure for a Jazzy scooter posted by inturnaround at 7:37 AM on November 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
dentures? posted by Seboshin at 7:38 AM on November 18, 2011
denture cleaning stuff
a snuggie
coupons for the early bird special at restaurants (although maybe this is just a florida thing)
prunes posted by elizardbits at 7:38 AM on November 18, 2011
Moth balls? Loose elbow patches? posted by flippant at 7:44 AM on November 18, 2011
One of those grabby claws old people use when they can't bend over anymore.
Having done this, an AARP membership is very cheap and you can just make up whatever birthday you want.
Ugly old man sweaters
Those black and orange peanut butter candies from Halloween that are universally loathed posted by Ghostride The Whip at 7:44 AM on November 18, 2011
Brochures for cruise ships. Said ships may only leave from Florida.
Brochure for the "help, I've fallen and I can't get up!" pendant (or the real thing, but that seems expensive). posted by alleycat01 at 7:46 AM on November 18, 2011
Black and white, aged, scratchy photo of him when he was a boy. posted by mittens at 7:46 AM on November 18, 2011 [9 favorites]
Grecian Formula. posted by The Deej at 7:46 AM on November 18, 2011
a cane for shaking at youngins (this is different from your walking cane)
a life alert necklace
a slip-proof mat for the bathtub
giant rectangular sunblocker sunglasses
velcro shoes posted by reverend cuttle at 7:48 AM on November 18, 2011
A Jitterbug cell phone. posted by emelenjr at 7:48 AM on November 18, 2011
A zimmer frame can be used as a dip station for exercise, you may be interested to know. posted by Not Supplied at 7:50 AM on November 18, 2011
Ice packs and rice bag warmers. posted by MonkeyToes at 8:06 AM on November 18, 2011
stomach-soothing herbal teas and decaf mild coffee.
A giant magnifying glass and a book with big letters. posted by Namlit at 8:08 AM on November 18, 2011
and for the Coup de grâce - Gold Bond Powder posted by any major dude at 8:08 AM on November 18, 2011
Casket catalog (or maybe just print offs from Walmart's website), info on burial plots, a Do Not Resuscitate form, etc... posted by mullacc at 8:14 AM on November 18, 2011
What about one those canes with a fold out seat, like this?
Some Tired Old Ass soak from the Vermont Country Store (a great source of other ideas) and a brochure about walk-in tubs.
Peach Blossom candies and a night shirt, also from the VCS. posted by jgirl at 8:14 AM on November 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
I did this for a (female) friend who turned 40 a few years ago and it was a huge hit, this big box filled with all this stuff. The Goodwill is your friend here. posted by essexjan at 8:15 AM on November 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Cardigan and white non-sneaker shoes! posted by jgirl at 8:16 AM on November 18, 2011
A square of astroturf. Which you will then stand on so he can tell you to Get Off His Lawn. posted by mkultra at 8:26 AM on November 18, 2011 [7 favorites]
Beano
Brochures from local Independent/Assisted Living places, and nursing homes
Application for MediCare
Social Security retirement info
On my 30th birthday, I was given a bottle of really good champagne, and a mug with a saying on it, which I can't remember, but but along the lines of No Whining. posted by theora55 at 8:58 AM on November 18, 2011
I'd also say, sign him up for the Harriet Carter catalog. My mom gets this, and pretty much every time I go, I see she's ordered something from it - pants extenders, dickies, under bed shoe racks, a kitchen sink organizer, rain bonnets, an outfit for a goose statue... mrgood and I particularly enjoy the theraputic aids section, where young, fit people make posture aids look appealing. Thankfully, nobody has to model the vinyl pants.
I can also pop a Whisper 2000 in the mail for you if you'd like. We just happen to have a spare one. posted by peagood at 9:27 AM on November 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
Sandwich paste, tinned pilchards, corned beef. posted by mippy at 9:34 AM on November 18, 2011 [1 favorite]
A hip flask, a kit for polishing his bold head, a remote control holder for the armrest of his sofa, viagra. posted by koahiatamadl at 11:38 AM on November 18, 2011
Subscription to Reader's Digest. posted by Xoebe at 11:40 AM on November 18, 2011
I'm sure these are all mentioned already, but my sister did this for me this year when I turned 30. Here's what was in the box:
Depends (for men) adult diapers
Preparation H
Men's multivitamin
Denture Cleanser
Poligrip denture glue
Just For Men hair/beard color kit
Old Spice cologne
Metamucil
and a single sample of Cialis
Also an Amazon gift card, which was perfect. posted by carsonb at 11:44 AM on November 18, 2011
Naugahyde jacket
lounge suit posted by BlueHorse at 2:09 PM on November 18, 2011
baby wipes
nthing nose hair trimmer posted by notned at 2:20 PM on November 18, 2011
Slippers and/or shoes with velcro closures. Preferably the cheapest and most plastic-y that you can find. posted by ninazer0 at 2:31 PM on November 18, 2011
Thanks, everyone! I'm going out now to get supplies. Jar opener and large print Reader's Digest for sure, lawn sign and Andy Rooney book if I can find 'em. And I've photoshopped his face onto this photo. posted by echo target at 5:43 PM on November 18, 2011
Gym membership. posted by Decani at 2:41 AM on November 19, 2011
A lawn for him to tell the kids to get off of. posted by Scoo at 8:34 AM on November 20, 2011
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