How many individual skulls would it take to make a chair for a six foot person?
April 30, 2012 6:34 PM Subscribe
How many individual skulls would it take to make a chair for a six foot person?
Mass quantities of (replica) skulls are not terribly expensive. How many would it take to make a throne? Nothing ostentatious, mind you, just a nice functional chair made of human skulls.
The entire chair could be made from skulls, like you'd imagine in a Pulp comic (lotta skulls), or it could be a chair deconstructed and with the skulls mounted on it. (Relatively few skulls)
FWiW, for the mathy grognards and other round cow worshipers, the skulls are a consistant 6"x4"x4".
Mass quantities of (replica) skulls are not terribly expensive. How many would it take to make a throne? Nothing ostentatious, mind you, just a nice functional chair made of human skulls.
The entire chair could be made from skulls, like you'd imagine in a Pulp comic (lotta skulls), or it could be a chair deconstructed and with the skulls mounted on it. (Relatively few skulls)
FWiW, for the mathy grognards and other round cow worshipers, the skulls are a consistant 6"x4"x4".
Best answer: Very few thrones have just four legs - most have some ornamentation down there to visually (and structurally?) balance them out. Also I think vytae's estimate misses the arms of the skull-throne. So, add in 4 skulls per arm, and maybe 3x2 skulls to fill in the gaps between the legs on each of three sides (front, L, & R.) So 44 + 2*4 + 3*6 = 70. 70 skulls.
On further thought, if you were to make your chair entirely out of skulls, I'd imagine it would need to be pretty substantial just to be structural. This might work for a brutish barbarian, but if you were a dark, dastardly sorceror a more subtle style of skull-throne might be appropriate. Maybe something of dark, twisted oak with deep red velvet upholstery, and just a few skulls at key visual points on the throne - the feet, tips of arms, and the peak of the back. Jeweled or glowing eyes are a must.
Finaly, as this picture of the Crimson King indicates, there's not really an upper bound on the numbers of skulls that can be in a skull throne. It might be more interesting to ponder what is the minimum number of skulls needed on a throne for it to be considered a "skull-throne"?
posted by Wulfhere at 7:49 PM on April 30, 2012 [7 favorites]
On further thought, if you were to make your chair entirely out of skulls, I'd imagine it would need to be pretty substantial just to be structural. This might work for a brutish barbarian, but if you were a dark, dastardly sorceror a more subtle style of skull-throne might be appropriate. Maybe something of dark, twisted oak with deep red velvet upholstery, and just a few skulls at key visual points on the throne - the feet, tips of arms, and the peak of the back. Jeweled or glowing eyes are a must.
Finaly, as this picture of the Crimson King indicates, there's not really an upper bound on the numbers of skulls that can be in a skull throne. It might be more interesting to ponder what is the minimum number of skulls needed on a throne for it to be considered a "skull-throne"?
posted by Wulfhere at 7:49 PM on April 30, 2012 [7 favorites]
Apologies if that response is a little more fantasy and less technical-throne-building than you were looking for. I have also built a prop (non-skull) throne before out of 2x4 and plywood with velvet upholstery. it wasn't too hard to build, but it was a beast to move around. Is your skull throne going to be stationary, or will it have to move from year to year?
If you're looking for a more minimalist option, when badass Finnish cello-metal band Apocalyptica plays, they often sit in chairs that could loosely be described as skull thrones. Image 1. Image 2. I'd imagine this is a pretty solid design, as the chairs have to survive touring. It even looks like they might flat-pack for storage.
posted by Wulfhere at 7:59 PM on April 30, 2012
If you're looking for a more minimalist option, when badass Finnish cello-metal band Apocalyptica plays, they often sit in chairs that could loosely be described as skull thrones. Image 1. Image 2. I'd imagine this is a pretty solid design, as the chairs have to survive touring. It even looks like they might flat-pack for storage.
posted by Wulfhere at 7:59 PM on April 30, 2012
I suggest looking into the Sedlec Ossuary, in the Czech Republic. I was there in 2004, and I seem to recall that there was a chair made of (human) bones there. Plenty of other bone furnishings, too.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:31 AM on May 1, 2012
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:31 AM on May 1, 2012
The entire chair could be made from skulls
Not to be pedantic, but they would not support your weight -- the replicas are not solid, not symmetrical, etc. You'll need to encase a supporting structure and apply the skulls on top of it.
Yes, I just said that your throne of skulls will need a sturdy skeleton.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:51 AM on May 1, 2012 [2 favorites]
Not to be pedantic, but they would not support your weight -- the replicas are not solid, not symmetrical, etc. You'll need to encase a supporting structure and apply the skulls on top of it.
Yes, I just said that your throne of skulls will need a sturdy skeleton.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:51 AM on May 1, 2012 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Couldn't the base just be solid skulls? That would probably give enough support, and I feel like a solid base is more throne-like anyway. Expanding on vytae and Wulfhere's design, I think that would add two sets of nine skulls (three deep and three high) in the middle for an extra 18 skulls. 70+18 = 88 skulls. I'd round up to 100 skulls, to leave room for ornamentation.
posted by missix at 11:33 AM on May 1, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by missix at 11:33 AM on May 1, 2012 [1 favorite]
Excuse me, but what about your footstool?!? You've GOT to have a footrest made from the skulls of your enemies to go with your throne!
And just for aesthetic purposes: you're not going to build this throne from shiny white skulls, are you? It will probably look better if the skulls are some sort of aged brown, perhaps on a very dark wood frame, and any fabric (seat cushion, throne backrest, footstool cushion) in a nice burgundy velvet.
posted by easily confused at 7:24 PM on May 1, 2012
And just for aesthetic purposes: you're not going to build this throne from shiny white skulls, are you? It will probably look better if the skulls are some sort of aged brown, perhaps on a very dark wood frame, and any fabric (seat cushion, throne backrest, footstool cushion) in a nice burgundy velvet.
posted by easily confused at 7:24 PM on May 1, 2012
Oh, and as for the height of the throne: I'd actually suggest making it another layer of skulls higher (just add a full level to the base) --- thrones are supposed to be imposing, right?
posted by easily confused at 5:56 AM on May 2, 2012
posted by easily confused at 5:56 AM on May 2, 2012
It depends on how tall the sitter is. Any intimidating aura given having a throne of skulls will be nullified if your feet can't reach the ground.
posted by missix at 9:41 AM on May 2, 2012
posted by missix at 9:41 AM on May 2, 2012
Yeah, but that's why absalom needs to construct the matching footstool!
posted by easily confused at 11:54 AM on May 2, 2012
posted by easily confused at 11:54 AM on May 2, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
So I'm thinking each leg of the chair should be 3 skulls tall, which only gives you 18" in height, but using skulls for the seat will be thicker than my example chair prototype. Times 4 legs, that's 12 skulls.
Keeping the skulls vertical for the seat seems like the most comfortable option, so you'll be sitting on the smoothly rounded tops (but really I'm just spitballing here), so figure a 4x4 grid for 16 skulls.
For the back of the chair, I feel like it would be awesome to have forward-facing skulls lining the outside of the rectangle, and then the tops of skulls facing forward in the middle. More comfort for leaning back, but more shock value around the edges. Based on the desired measurements, figure 4 vertical skulls tall on each side, plus another 2 vertical skulls across the top. That leaves you a 12"x8" rectangle in the middle to fill, so a grid of 2x3 skulls with the tops of the craniums (crania?) pointed forward. 16 skulls for the back of the chair.
12 + 16 + 16 = 44. Forty four skulls. Ah ah ah.
posted by vytae at 7:12 PM on April 30, 2012 [8 favorites]