A couple of awesome things are happening in my life right now, and when I told my girlfriend about them, she was quite critical of them. At the time I brushed it off, but a couple days later, I'm feeling quite bothered by her reaction. Should I bring this up to her? Is there a healthy way to do so? Or should I just let sleeping dogs lie?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (40 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
My gf and I have been dating for about 6 months, and we're both in our mid-twenties, though she's a couple years older. She lives in the Big City, while I live in the near suburbs. She's great, I have a blast with her, and I think we complement each other well in a lot of ways.
Recently, after far too long in community college, I was accepted to university! Awesome! This has been the biggest goal I've achieved in my adult life. Seriously self-actualizing shit here. So I told my girlfriend about it a couple days ago, and her reaction was basically, congrats, but by going to school in the suburbs you'll be seriously limiting your options in terms of networking possibilities and future employment. My school is not that far from the Big City, we're talking 15-20 miles. Essentially, it is one of the area schools. It is also what I've decided is the best choice for my major.
Secondly, my roommate moved out recently and I have this big old loft type space to myself for a few months before I move to my new school's neighborhood. So my first reaction was, I'm going to hold an art exhibition with a bunch of my artist friends. I've never done something like this before, and it's something I'm really excited about. Again, this is me being my best self, self-actualizing like a motherfucker. Great way to network, deepen relationships with other artists like myself, and frankly just have fun. So I tell my girlfriend about it, again a couple days ago, and her reaction was, well that sounds cool and all, but it's pointless if you're not going to do it in the Big City. It won't help your career and what you're talking about is basically just a house party. Ok... I don't have a space to hold an art show in the Big City. The idea was I have this space, I know these artists, let's do a show. She's out of college and just starting to work as a promoter, so she kind of got into promoter mode and started stressing about how I need to find a way to afford to rent a space in the Big City for a show, and that my portfolio is not up to snuff to show with the kinds of artists she knows, and so on and so forth. I wasn't against doing something in the Big City if I could, it's just that I don't think I'm prepared for that. Either way, we talked about it for a while and went on about our day.
So it's been a couple of days since we've talked about these two things, and I've been at home on my own thinking about it, and the more I think about it, the more it bothers me. I've spent years being depressed, backsliding, going nowhere in my life. So when my hard work is starting to pay off with new possibilities and opportunities, I am seriously bothered that this person who is supposed to be important to me just shits all over it. I'm having serious doubts about her after these conversations. These are supposed to be good things in my life, I don't want someone close to me to criticize them.
So now I'm wondering, it's been days since we talked about these things. Is there really any benefit to bringing up the fact that I'm bothered by her reaction? Or should I just let it go? If I do bring it up, how do I do so in a healthy way? Like, I imagine this would be a situation where "I" statements are called for, right? :) What do you think, MetaFilter?