I should probably just buzz it all off right?

April 23, 2012 5:48 PM

MetaFilter, in all my years I've never managed to figure out what the hell to do with my hair. Help please?

So here's the deal: I'm straight man a couple of years shy of thirty and I'm just trying to make the most of what god gave me. My hair is frizzy and curly and stubborn as a mule and I haven't the foggiest what to do with it. Growing up it was straight up Kramer hair, but since 2006 I've been just smushing it down and to the side after a shower and that's about it. I'll post a few reference photos here to give you an idea of what I'm talking about.

If you guys could let me know what I could do with this mop that would be flattering and easy that would be awesome. Long? Short? Buzzed? I'm up for anything. I'm not opposed to putting some effort into it, but if you want to recommend something that requires product or techniques I'm probably going to need a youtube video to figure it out. Also, if it matters what kind of shampoo/conditioner would you recommend, and how frequent should I be washing it? Daily seems to be inducing more frizz.

Also, as long as I'm posting pictures feel free to give whatever advice you might have about my general appearance. Glasses? I wear them most of the time but I've been doing contacts more often. Facial hair? It looks ok stubbley, but is real patchy looking on the cheeks if it gets longer.

Thanks for supporting my vanity. Photos in profile.

posted by cirrostratus to human relations (26 answers total)

Maybe your hair is just extremely photogenic, but I like it fine the way it is - it suits your face, it's a bit unusual while not being wacky and it's about as kempt as it's going to get while preserving the curl.

As usual, you could do short back and sides, longer top - and then lots of product to make the curl behave. I think that would be a bit blah given your natural hair advantage, but that's just me.

You could probably do a pretty good pompadour, too - short back and sides, long top, pomade, comb.
posted by Frowner at 5:53 PM on April 23, 2012

I mean, I'd keep the sides a bit shorter than they are in the "this is how curly it gets" pic, because those long curly bits by the ears are what makes it look untidy.
posted by Frowner at 5:54 PM on April 23, 2012

Another vote for "it's fine the way it is." (When you said it was "frizzy" I was envisioning something like this.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:01 PM on April 23, 2012

I think your hair looks pretty good in all of those pictures, actually. Super short suits you just as much as the "this is how curly it gets" look.

To keep the frizz down, I would suggest you stop washing your hair daily, and to quit shampoo all together. I always preferred my hair two or so days after washing it and hated how it looked clean.

I've since gone to washing it two to three times a week with just water and prefer how it looks so much more! You get the good, natural oils flowing to keep the curl without the frizz.
posted by too bad you're not me at 6:01 PM on April 23, 2012

I think your hair looks pretty good--as do you-- in all of the photos except "tiny photo, sorry" in which you look like you're trying too hard to force it into an approximation of a business look.
posted by carmicha at 6:03 PM on April 23, 2012

I came to suggest short back and sides, longer top as well. I passed a guy twice last week walking around the crowded sidewalks downtown, and both times I noticed him because he had the most fantastic hair I've ever seen on a dude. Short back and sides, longer curly top. I imagine there was a good amount of product in there to define the curls, and it was sort of pushed back. A bit like this, only not nearly as poofy.

Something a little Jude Law-y might suit you, too.
posted by phunniemee at 6:05 PM on April 23, 2012

I misspoke...something a little Jude Law-y would definitely suit you, I think.
posted by phunniemee at 6:06 PM on April 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Hetero female, your age. I vote for the really short with the short beard. I think it works nicely with the glasses, low maintenance as far as washing and styling goes, but keeping the beard tidy is a must. Maybe I'm biased because that's one of the better photos in terms of light and angle, but it's the most attractive IMHO and makes you look your age. You look younger with more hair/clean shaven, for what it's worth.
posted by slow graffiti at 6:07 PM on April 23, 2012 [5 favorites]

But...but you have 'flattering and easy.' That's nice thick hair, looks great. Don't over-think this one.

That's the same pair of glasses in each shot, right? Branch out and think of them like watches or shoes; you can get a fancy pair and a sporty pair and a hipster pair and so on and on.
posted by kmennie at 6:10 PM on April 23, 2012

The more I look at the photos the more I think it's not just the hair on top, it's the beard. You could look good long or short on top with the light beard you have in photos #5 and #6
posted by slow graffiti at 6:11 PM on April 23, 2012

Yeah not just trying to be nice--if I didn't mean this I wouldn't be posting at all--but I think it looks good in the "this is how curly it gets picture" (but also agree with the 'keep it clean around the sides to avoid looking unkempt' idea)--good amount of curl, shiny, looks clean...I say if it ain't broke don't fix it!

If you're really looking for something different and don't know where to start, ask a girl friend (or a thoughtful guy friend) what celebrity would play you in a movie, i.e., what celebrity you look like. This sounds weird (and kind of shallow) but the goal is to give you an idea of your face shape and overall look--then you can go see what kind of hair styles that person has worn (and give your stylist an easy point of reference, if not a picture of exactly what you want). I am a girl and this is what I do--I suggested it once to a guy friend and the approach has worked out well for him. I'd give you a suggestion based on your pics, but I'd have to think about it some more...

Oh and I like those glasses--stick with those for sure.
posted by lovableiago at 6:13 PM on April 23, 2012

I like it really curly and really short. What's missing in the other pics is shine, so I would shampoo less. Also, I think that softening the part would help. But that being said, I don't think that you really have too much of a problem going on with your hair!
posted by analog at 6:18 PM on April 23, 2012

short/shaved with glasses= hot
posted by MT at 6:24 PM on April 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

I think it looks cute in the photos. The "short back and sides, longer curly top" advice above sounds good to me. There's probably some product for frizzy hair to retain/define curl that you could use if you're worried about it looking messy. Your glasses look nice, but having a few very distinctive pairs is fun too.
posted by Bunglegirl at 6:32 PM on April 23, 2012

short short hair with glasses pic is really hot. do that. do that exactly. hot! that is all.
posted by TestamentToGrace at 6:37 PM on April 23, 2012

Your hair looks good! That's probably not a satisfying answer for you, but you really don't need to change a thing. Although it looks fine in all of the pictures, it's probably best when it's very short, and that has the added benefit of preventing frizz.
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:53 PM on April 23, 2012

I think that your hair looks great in all the photos. Agree with slowgraffiti and MT and TestamentToGrace that short short hair with glasses = hot, although "my type" is glasses, so that fogs my judgement.
posted by k8t at 7:08 PM on April 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

Also agree with slowgraffiti (and others) -- the short hair and light beard compliment your nicely-shaped skull quite well, and it's easily the handsomest picture in my opinion.

Also, if it matters what kind of shampoo/conditioner would you recommend, and how frequent should I be washing it?

Keep it real short, don't shampoo at all unless a bird poops in it or something.
posted by Greg Nog at 7:26 PM on April 23, 2012

I have hair that gets wavey when it gets longer -- maybe not as wavey as yours, but enough that I think it's a pain. I keep mine buzzcut (about the length of your really short photo) with my own trimmers. It works for me because its super low maintenance.
posted by garlic at 7:38 PM on April 23, 2012

I don't mind your hair long, but if you want easy I think you look good with the shortest style, too.

I always think short stubble is really attractive, though it tends to not feel so great...
posted by vegartanipla at 8:20 PM on April 23, 2012

I would say, Keep the facial hair, I like the contacts because I think you should Play up your best feature, (your eyes) Keep the sides and back short and go from shortest in the crown area (Thats hair stylist lingo for the back top of your head) and lighten it up a bit, Like the Jude Law Picture. I would like to see the longest point in the front, going from the crown, which would be the shortest point, to the front, the longest point, Kind of like a cezar hair cut. Then, put some pomade in it to cut down on the frizzieness and emphasize the curl.I believe if you lighten it a bit it will bring out your beautiful eyes.
posted by brittaincrowe at 9:23 PM on April 23, 2012

Definitely don't wash daily, unless you have a serious oil problem. I like all your pictures! I'd err toward the side of shorter, but you really look good in all of them.

I like the ones without glasses more than with, but only because I'm not a big fan of your particular style of glasses. I was about to make some recommendations, but it's all really about personal style, so if I were you I'd try on a bunch, maybe even order some (free) test frames from Warby Parker just for kicks.

The facial hair is great!
posted by stoneandstar at 12:21 AM on April 24, 2012

Very short + stubble + glasses is a great look for you.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 2:19 AM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

You have my boyfriend's hair but smoother and shinier. I cut his hair. I kind of give him a Jude Law slight fauxhawk thing that he likes. Personally I think this length, this length, and this length work best. The really short haircut looks fine but it's not my personal preference.

I really don't see frizzy or unmanageable at all here, if you are looking for "do I look okay?" confirmation. If you're looking to change things up, the other recommendations in this thread are quite good.
posted by amicamentis at 6:13 AM on April 24, 2012

I think your hair looks great. The only advice I would give is to spend the money on a haircut that's a bit more expensive if you want to learn to use products or get a better foundation. Too many guys cheap out on $10 haircuts, but a good cut from a decent stylist will take you very far.
posted by lollipopgomez at 10:44 AM on April 24, 2012

I like it! But, if you want expert opinion, book yourself into a salon that specializes in Curly Hair like DevaCurl. Best to go with your hair a bit on the long side so they can see what to work with. But honestly? You're cute! Don't worry so much!
posted by blue_bicycle at 6:06 PM on April 24, 2012