How to stop negative feeling regarding life status
April 20, 2012 7:20 AM Subscribe
How to feel less isolated and being single, over 30 and female and an individual that doesn't fit the norm?
posted by Soundgirl to Human Relations (20 answers total) 23 users marked this as a favorite
I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life and would like some advice from you :-)
I have moved back home to my parents after quitting a job I was in for five years due to being bullied out of it (my face didn't fit and the company was privatised, not really any fault of my own). Although I am now doing something I really believe in (my own business), the location is very rural and as I work from home this is causing me to become very lonely :-(
3 years ago (age 29) I left a 9 year relationship due to my ex wanting to become a full time drug dealer. After leaving that relationship all our mutual friends sided with my ex as a) I left him and b) he was a dealer they wanted to keep in contact with. I have to say the last 3 years have been the hardest of my life and my confidence has been truly knocked due to the job loss, loss of friendships, moving to a rural location and my other friends starting to settle down. I feel like I don't really fit anywhere or have anyone to share my life with. I'm not really ready to settle down and I'm finding the fun has gone from many of my friends lives due to their changing circumstances (which I am really happy about, I want my friends to be happy!).
It's come to the point where I feel uncomfortable talking to my friends when I rarely see them as I don't have anything to add to the conversation and tend to sit in silence a lot of the time. I am making an effort to meet new people but I have barely any money as my business (photographer) has yet to pay me enough to live on. I feel very guilty about living at home age 32 and feel don't really have a lot going for me. It's getting very difficult not to compare myself to others and this is making my feel depressed and lacking in self worth.
I know I have a lot to offer but maybe I'm running with the wrong crowd? I am very lucky to be granted a 'do over' with my life but I feel my age and interests (I'm an electronic music photographer) means I will be quite lonely in the future through travelling the road less travelled?
I would love to meet someone new but I am getting an awful lot of pressure from my friends to 'join their club'. I know they just want me to be happy but I think just having like minded people around would make me happy. I don't want to rush into a relationship for the sake of peer pressure but they are pushing the internet dating onto me and it seems pretty forced. I do feel like a carton of milk sometimes! As far as children go, one would be nice but I'm not massively bothered about it due to my lifestyle..
Any thoughts?...I don't want to come across as a Debbie Downer but I am starting to internalise these events that have brought me to this place as something that is wrong with me...although I know this is not the case at all! Any tips from people that have been through similar, I want to nip these feelings in the bud as they are starting to effect me in a negative way...which is not good!
Thanks in advance to you all!