Marrying an immigrant

July 14, 2005 10:05 AM

Seeking advice from US citizens who have married foreigners who happened to be illegal.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years, but she's not from this country. She was working on a process towards receiving a green card (longer than she's known me), and we were planning on delaying the thought of marriage until after the process was resolved.
She received the letter to appear before the INS at a truly inconvenient time (as we were about to move into an apartment together, which we have done). But because there was something unkosher in her employment paperwork (a technicality), her process was denied.

An immigration lawyer has told her that if she wants to stay in the US, she either has to get a new full-time job in the same field she was originally sponsored for, or get married to a US citizen. But the time-frame is unknown. She could get a letter to appear before a judge tomorrow, next week, or in 5 years.

We know that the only "sure thing" is to get married, and we love each other and would have eventually done it anyway, but obviously we're not thrilled about having to rush into things.

If we *do* get married, what is involved on my (the US citizen sponsoring her) side? Are they really intrusive about trying to prove the legitimacy of this relationship? Is there a lot of paperwork? Fees?

Can anyone share any experiences in this sort of situation?

posted by anonymous to human relations (16 comments total)

I have experience with this. I can tell you that yes, there is a fair amount of paperwork involved on her end (but from your description above, it sounds like she's well acquainted with this already), not so much on yours. The fees weren't bad - if I remember correctly, the total was about $500 for fees, pictures, fedex fees etc.

I agree with your lawyer that if her process was denied, it's only a matter of time before her hearing. The timeframe depends on where you are and how busy the court is. Longer in big areas with lots of immigrants like LA and NY, but still, it would probably be more like 1 year, not 5. If you really think you'd be getting married anyway, it's probably not a bad idea. However, make sure you check w/your lawyer re the new laws - your girlfriend may have to leave the country before getting married, she may not be able to work immediately after getting married etc. There are a lot of new rules meant to discourage people from getting married just for the greencard.

I don't want to go into further details about my experience here, but if you're interested, email me.
posted by widdershins at 10:32 AM on July 14, 2005

Are they intrusive? They can be, but don't have to be. If you've seen Green Card, they can get that nasty if they want to (asking about what color toothbrush she uses, etc.). They're probably more likely to be intrusive if she's from a country that traditionally exports mail-order brides.

This is, realistically, not something you should worry about. The usual rule of thumb is that if you're actually in a real romantic relationship with each other, you should have nothing to fear on that count. You're going to act like a couple, and have pictures together like any other couple, and have leases like any other couple, and so on.

I wouldn't really worry about the timing being suspicious, either. If you're asked about it, you can always TRUTHFULLY say that you'd been talking about marriage anyway, and, sure, this was a reason to get married sooner rather than later, but you've been in a committed relationship for however long.

Is there a lot of paperwork? Oh yes. Dear lord, yes. There's paperwork enough to make Hermes from Futurama giddy with excitement. None of it is, necessarily, terribly difficult, but they're all very fussy. You need to be detail-oriented, careful, and precise. This is the kind of paperwork where people sometimes, as the stories go, get rejected because they put N/A where they meant NONE.

Are there fees? Yep. I'd plan on $1000 in total costs to be safe.

The big rule is DO NOT FUCK WITH IMMIGRATION. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER EVER TELL THEM THE TEENSIEST LIE. They are quick to anger and their anger will fuck you up.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:15 AM on July 14, 2005

I am not a lawyer, nor do I play one on tv. But I've successfully imported a fine example of glorious Canadian femininity.

your girlfriend may have to leave the country before getting married

That would be an extraordinarily bad idea. She can marry you without leaving, and then you can file for Adjustment Of Status or AOS -- this gets her the green card. If she leaves now, there is a very real chance that she could be denied entry again, or face an N-year bar to entering the US. From here, she really should not leave the US at all until you've safely adjusted status, except for absolute family emergencies.

she may not be able to work immediately after getting married etc

At the same time that you file for AOS, you can also file paperwork for an Employment Authorization Document or EAD. This will let her work in any job (barring top secret stuff, etc) while her AOS is being processed.

Depending on where you are, AOS can take anywhere from a few months to more than two years. If it takes more than a year, she'd need to file for a new EAD every year. She should be safe in the US while she's pending adjustment.

Check out the newsgroup alt.visa.us.marriage-based . There are people there who've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and want to help.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:23 AM on July 14, 2005

I agree totally with ROU. A really close friend of mine (from
a western European country) messed with Immigration once and that haunted her. Even when later she applied legally for green card through a legal marriage she was denied. She eventually got it but after a lot of hassles (including letters from several of the couple's friends to verify she was truly a wife!!!). Obviously, you will not go through that hell. Keep it legal. Keep the dates.

Plan on a lot of paperwork which you can track yourself alone (I did mine by myself, but I like to get by cheap) or maybe you keep that lawyer handy. He/she will lead you through it. Also, your girlfriend will not be able to travel outside US for a long time -travel parole is given once a year and only for a good reason.

I can't say about the marriage thingy, or maybe I will: don't get married if you are not 100% ready.
posted by carmina at 11:30 AM on July 14, 2005

My husband applied for permanent residency about a year after we got married, and the INS agent called our marriage fraudulent (it wasn't) because
1) his visa was expired when we got married (I didn't know this) and
2) we had separate bank accounts (which I insisted on).

If you pursue the marriage route (recommended), make sure you list her as a beneficiary immediately on insurance, etc. Get a joint bank account, if you don't already have one.

Have your lawyer with you at all immigration meetings. Be absolutely honest to every question asked. Don't lie or omit any information.

"She received the letter to appear before the INS at a truly inconvenient time"--yep, you are at their beck and call.

It's been 11 years since my husband got his green card (it was conditional for the first two years, since we had to prove our marriage wasn't fraudulent), and I'm happy he got it. But I still have very ill thoughts about our INS agent.
posted by luneray at 11:42 AM on July 14, 2005

I have just been through this process. I was here on a J visa, met my (now) husband etc. etc. We would have ended up getting married anyway, but we pushed it forward a year or so to avoid the hassle of having to refile for my working visa.

It is expensive - around $700 for filing fees, as well as the things like photos etc. We made it more expensive, because we got a lawyer (didn't want all the hassle of DIY), which basically doubled the cost.

That said, apart from all the appointments (fingerprinting, photos, temp cards etc) it wasn't a problem. We took in a buttload of evidence to our interview: joint bank accounts, leases, health insurance, bills, credit cards, lots and lots of photos and the bills for our wedding. I think the latter alone convinced them that we were for real.
posted by gaspode at 11:43 AM on July 14, 2005

eta: We have separate bank accounts (I, like luneray, insist) but our names are on both of them. Done purely for immigration, but made things a lot easier.
posted by gaspode at 11:46 AM on July 14, 2005

That would be an extraordinarily bad idea. She can marry you without leaving, and then you can file for Adjustment Of Status or AOS -- this gets her the green card. If she leaves now, there is a very real chance that she could be denied entry again, or face an N-year bar to entering the US. From here, she really should not leave the US at all until you've safely adjusted status, except for absolute family emergencies.

It sounds to me that your gf had a status that she failed to maintain while her AOS was pending this time. To Adjust a Status you have to be in a status and right now she is not, first she would be required to reinstate her status. This is maybe why the lawyer advised that she would have to find a new work sponsor. If you do marry she won't be adjusting status she will be gaining status. As long as she has not been out of status for more than a time limit (depending on her visa type and time in application limbo does not count) she will not have accrued "unlawful status" and be barred from reentry. It is not necessarily a bad idea at all, but why do it when she does not have to.

There was no reason to delay the thought of marriage before and there is no reason now. You've been dating for 2 years, there is nothing that CIS is going to ask you that you won't be able to handle. Print off some of your gushy emails from over the years or letters or whatever, plus your joint lease, stuff like that. There should be no problems should you decide to do that.

I second what ROU said re: the EAD application at the same time and the part about NOT FUCKING WITH USCIS. They do not like lies, not even little white ones. If she worked without authorization and they ask, then say YES, they will find out and they will deny and remove her if she lies.

On Preview: The joint account thing is good, too bad it hasn't been in the works already.

The inconvenient time deal can be rescheduled but it is hard to get a good appointment. They post the slots early in the morning DC time, so make sure you call bright and early.

Last, just remember that USCIS are not out to get you. They are just bean counters working with millions of people, like a massive DMV, be strait with them and calm and patient and they will be strait with you (for the most part). Good luck!
posted by Pollomacho at 12:03 PM on July 14, 2005

It is not necessarily a bad idea at all, but why do it when she does not have to.

And by "it" I mean leaving and reentering.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:05 PM on July 14, 2005

To Adjust a Status you have to be in a status and right now she is not, first she would be required to reinstate her status. This is maybe why the lawyer advised that she would have to find a new work sponsor.

She doesn't have to get another job before they can marry and file the I-485, least as far as I've seen from other people's experiences. Lots of people seem to adjust from "Out of status and substantially overstayed" to CPR without a hitch.

In her shoes, I would not leave the US unless a lawyer I trusted assured me that I would be able to re-enter, at least not unless it was to attend the death of a parent or something of similar magnitude. Little to gain and lots to lose.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:56 PM on July 14, 2005

travel parole is given once a year and only for a good reason

That's not my experience, or the general experience of people I've talked to. At least for people who started on the K1 route, advance parole is given promptly (within 2--3 months of applying) and for no better reason than "I want to see my family."

Which isn't to say that Ms. Anonymous ought to be leaving the US, again.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:58 PM on July 14, 2005

Oh -- If you get a lawyer, get an immigration lawyer and an immigration lawyer only. If you skim back through old posts to a.v.us.m-b, you'll find people who hired a general-purpose lawyer, had to do 99% of the work themselves anyway, and then ended up being denied because the lawyer fucked up and didn't get forms in on time.

don't get married if you are not 100% ready

In cases like this, where there's a real no-shit concrete reason to get married now, I say meh. The worst thing that can reasonably happen is they end up getting a divorce.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:04 PM on July 14, 2005

She doesn't have to get another job before they can marry and file the I-485

Thus the reason I wrote: "If you do marry she won't be adjusting status she will be gaining status." She won't need a new job to apply for immigrant status if you marry. If they again deny the petition, she will still be out of status and building "bad" time. Once she has built enough time they consider that "unlawful presence" and it starts to count towards being banned from the country no matter what.

I do agree that she does not have to leave (if you get the applications in soon), but that is an alternate route should you decide to go that way. Unless she's been here illegally for months, there is no reason to believe that they would deny a K-visa or (if you were already married) an immigrant visa. K's are only given for 90 days, so I don't really understand what advanced parole would do in this case, she isn't coming in and then leaving again. You wouldn't waste your time with a K visa if she's already here either.

If time is getting tight, I would not fear leaving, but if she is questionable, State can be a real bitch, moreso than CIS even, especially if she's from a country with a lot of immigrants/fraud issues.
posted by Pollomacho at 1:37 PM on July 14, 2005

I don't disagree, O Chicken so Manly. I'm just trying to get at the poster's question directly without hitting minutiae that are interesting to me too, but that the poster odds are doesn't care about.

Big point:

They can get hitched now and file for AOS and EAD. She doesn't need to leave the country and come back, and she doesn't need to get a new job first. Her AOS should not be problematic, as they are really a couple, but it's a real pain in the ass. There are lots of resources out there to guide you through the process. The newsgroup has wisdom. This page is also good. Don't worry about the parts dealing with K1, K3, DCF, etc, just look at the bits dealing with adjustment of status. You'll also want to go through the USCIS page to the page for the local office you'll be dealing with as procedures can vary somewhat from one office to the next.

K's are only given for 90 days, so I don't really understand what advanced parole would do in this case

K1/K3 leads to AOS, which takes for-fucking-ever, so AP is common during AOS from K1 to CPR. I was just contradicting the earlier post that AP was hard to get.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:56 PM on July 14, 2005

ROU, I am speaking only from my personal experience. I am waiting on my green card (not marriage related). AP was given to me in May only after I explained that I am going to my home country (Greece) on business (conference). They did not give me trouble per se, but I had to have this document showing the meeting title and my presentation.
posted by carmina at 4:17 PM on July 14, 2005

Wow. Your local office must be filled with supreme assholes. My condolences!

Or... I wonder if this is a difference between marriage-based adjustments and employment-based? In general, USCIS seems to treat marriage-based applicants a whole damn lot nicer than they treat employment-based applicants.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:15 PM on July 14, 2005