Help me find myself?
February 29, 2012 5:23 AM Subscribe
Dramatic change in life has rock my foundation of self. I need to figure out who I am now that I lost my main identity. I’m in therapy to help with the change, but was wondering if there were any online (preferably) or offline workbooks, tests, or X activity that I can work through that will help me find myself? I’m at a lost.
Do i start by taking Myers-Briggs test? Do i create a list of short term / long term goals? Do i write down what I like and dislike? Would love a laundry list of steps to follow to get me started.
Do i start by taking Myers-Briggs test? Do i create a list of short term / long term goals? Do i write down what I like and dislike? Would love a laundry list of steps to follow to get me started.
Something like this happened to me in college, when I realized that the major/career path I'd wanted my whole life no longer made any sense to me. I felt panicked and adrift, and like I'd ruined my life by not choosing some other path earlier.
Writing down my thoughts was a big help- not in any kind of directed way, just thinking about how I felt and writing it out was very helpful. It allowed me to realize- ok, I don't have a Big Life Goal anymore, but I DO have things I like to do for fun, types of people I like to be around, types of work I enjoy doing. And, eventually, I started figuring out how to build a life around those things, instead of around the career thing, as I had been doing before.
So yeah, I'd suggest NOT writing out long-term goals just yet- if you've had a dramatic life change, your goals may be changing as well. Don't think in terms of goals right now- you should be concentrating on figuring out who you are, which is independent from where you're going.
posted by showbiz_liz at 5:56 AM on February 29, 2012
Writing down my thoughts was a big help- not in any kind of directed way, just thinking about how I felt and writing it out was very helpful. It allowed me to realize- ok, I don't have a Big Life Goal anymore, but I DO have things I like to do for fun, types of people I like to be around, types of work I enjoy doing. And, eventually, I started figuring out how to build a life around those things, instead of around the career thing, as I had been doing before.
So yeah, I'd suggest NOT writing out long-term goals just yet- if you've had a dramatic life change, your goals may be changing as well. Don't think in terms of goals right now- you should be concentrating on figuring out who you are, which is independent from where you're going.
posted by showbiz_liz at 5:56 AM on February 29, 2012
It might be hokey, but it might help to try to reframe the problem. You aren't what (or who) you thought you were, so you can be ANYTHING YOU WANT. Now is the time to dream big, at least for a while. Think of all the things that would make you the best possible you you can be, and write them all down. Then work on incorporating those into your life.
posted by SeedStitch at 6:01 AM on February 29, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by SeedStitch at 6:01 AM on February 29, 2012 [4 favorites]
Here are some writing prompts that I just made up, try them if you like!
* Describe three to five experiences in your past when you were unusually happy. What did you do? Where were you? Who was there? What happened? What else were you feeling at the time?
* Think of three to five things that you are good at. They don't have to be academic things; they could be "hugs", "yoyo tricks", "making omelettes", "being on time". If you get stuck, ask a close friend or relative to help.
* What would you do if you had an infinite amount of time and money, and you could do whatever you liked? What would be so great about doing those things?
* Think of as many adjectives that describe you as you possibly can.
* What makes you angry?
posted by emilyw at 6:25 AM on February 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
* Describe three to five experiences in your past when you were unusually happy. What did you do? Where were you? Who was there? What happened? What else were you feeling at the time?
* Think of three to five things that you are good at. They don't have to be academic things; they could be "hugs", "yoyo tricks", "making omelettes", "being on time". If you get stuck, ask a close friend or relative to help.
* What would you do if you had an infinite amount of time and money, and you could do whatever you liked? What would be so great about doing those things?
* Think of as many adjectives that describe you as you possibly can.
* What makes you angry?
posted by emilyw at 6:25 AM on February 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
The Artist's Way is a course that includes many tasks/activities/assignments to help one "find their way" -creatively speaking.
(One of Julia Cameron's main approaches is similiar to showbiz_liz's idea of writing down your thoughts)
posted by mrmarley at 7:00 AM on February 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
(One of Julia Cameron's main approaches is similiar to showbiz_liz's idea of writing down your thoughts)
posted by mrmarley at 7:00 AM on February 29, 2012 [2 favorites]
I highly recommend 344 Questions. I have found it a good way to sit down and take an honest look at myself. It's a book where you fill in the pages and write inside, but it's pretty cheap.
I'm only a couple pages in (and this is going to sound hokey), but it has already seriously rocked my world and made me think in a systematic manner.
posted by bookdragoness at 7:21 AM on February 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'm only a couple pages in (and this is going to sound hokey), but it has already seriously rocked my world and made me think in a systematic manner.
posted by bookdragoness at 7:21 AM on February 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: @xingcat - +1 Definitely the type of online quizzes that will help pull me out of me.
@emilyw - +1 Now I need about 1,000 more of those with some sort of algorithm that tallies up all the answers and spits me out. i know that's the easy way out.
@bookdragoness - Went to Amazon to check out the book. +1 points for you. Definitely the type of workbook I'm look for. I just wish that it wasn't so artsy and that it was like an online form.
I have started a journal which will help overall.
posted by bleucube at 8:44 AM on February 29, 2012
@emilyw - +1 Now I need about 1,000 more of those with some sort of algorithm that tallies up all the answers and spits me out. i know that's the easy way out.
@bookdragoness - Went to Amazon to check out the book. +1 points for you. Definitely the type of workbook I'm look for. I just wish that it wasn't so artsy and that it was like an online form.
I have started a journal which will help overall.
posted by bleucube at 8:44 AM on February 29, 2012
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posted by xingcat at 5:49 AM on February 29, 2012 [1 favorite]