Needing some hope
February 22, 2012 10:01 AM Subscribe
There's always someone else, right?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (38 answers total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
It's been two months since the breakup of my first serious, year-long relationship, and I'm still having a hard time getting over it. Rationally, I know all the things that are usually said when it comes to breakups ("it takes time", etc etc) but it's hard to think that way when it's actually happening. I'm suddenly fearful of being alone or never being able to find anyone else (I know...I know...), even though I generally think being single is pretty fun. I was single up until this relationship, after all, and I never particularly felt any despair or worry.
I think my sudden fear might also be because this was, all in all, a great first relationship. I found him completely trustworthy and kind and attentive, we shared similar interests, and, as I was completely sexually inexperienced, he made me feel safe and comfortable in bed. We loved each other a lot, but broke up for fairly significant life-compatibility issues that I'm certain do not bode well for a long-term future. He expressed interest in trying again (even though we are both aware of these incompatibilities) and I think because I am missing him so much my mind is trying to rationalize things--"What if I never find anyone I can be this comfortable with again? What if I never find anyone as loving? Maybe I can compromise on these huge issues?"
Now I'm stuck in this mental conflict, and I really need to hear peoples' own experiences and stories of how they got past it, if they've been there.
Did you ever break up with someone that you really loved (amicably, just because of compatibility issues) and manage to find someone else as good or even better? Is there hope?
Bonus: Did you manage to stay friends with this ex?
I'm female, mid-twenties. Thanks in advance...