A follow-up to this question
, I guess. I'm trying to put myself out there, or whatever it's called, but the problem is, people have lots of nasty things to say about people who put themselves out there when nobody wants them to be putting themselves out there. Like with the Geek Social Fallacies
article that's gone around, the person that 80% of the people hate and wish would fuck off. Or like the "vampires" from this post
. One of the things that the post said they do, a bad thing that people are not supposed to do, is "[pursuing] interactions that you have not instigated." But isn't that how you make friends? I've been told verbatim that you can't wait for people to invite you places, that you have to be the one to instigate things. Apparently that's a bad thing if people think you suck.
Basically, I don't know whether I'm just terrified people don't like me, or whether I'm accurately observing that people in fact do not like me. And I don't know how to tell which it is, because you can't come out and say "hey, do you want me to stop trying to be your friend?" and people generally don't say that themselves but complain about it later behind your back. What are the warning signs? And if I am in fact that person, what am I supposed to do? Purposefully never talk to anyone as not to upset them? Do something arcane that I don't know how to do in order to be an acceptable person again? I don't understand this at all.