don't call me (for a while), I'll call you (eventually)
February 6, 2012 7:58 AM Subscribe
What are some socially acceptable ways to "drop out" socially for 6 months or so?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (12 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
Right now my family is going through a very difficult time. It's nothing secretive, close friends and family are aware and supportive, and we're getting the help we need personally and professionally, individually and collectively. However, we have only lived in our city a few years and so our social lives here are rather superficial. I don't feel like going to parties, shows, happy hours, etc. and I would like to bow out of social events while we get through this. I'm not a reach-out-to-others kind of person, I'm more of a cocoon-type of person, and I want to come home from work and nurture myself as much as possible through solitude (not loneliness, solitude), cooking, exercising, reading, and being quiet. I am introverted as it is, and the situation is using up all of my emotional resources.
If I were traveling around the world for 6 months people would say "cool, see you when you get back!" If I were studying for the bar people would say "cool, call us when you need a break!" But if I say "we're going through a difficult time and don't want to socialize for 6 months" then the responses will range from pity to avoidance.
If I don't say anything but just turn down invites (this is what I've been doing for a while) then the invites will drop off and my new social scene will evaporate. I like the people I've started to befriend but they're not "friends" yet and my intimate personal details don't have a place in those relationships. These are just nice, friendly acquaintances I've shared some good times with and networked a bit with work-wise.
So what can I say that will stop the invites for a while without introducing drama and that will give me an opportunity to pick up where we left off in 6 months or so?
Hopefully I have given enough info that you guys can run with this question a bit. Anon because my partner is on mefi (we are struggling too, which makes socializing stressful ... do you pretend it's all ok? do you go out separately and then explain absences all the time?..etc.) and my kids read it. A few details: we are middle-aged, kids in high school, not churchy, and in this town for just a few years. It's not a small-town, but it's a small enough place that once your drama is known, it's known.