Feeling like a perpetual schadenfreude victim.
January 18, 2012 8:08 AM Subscribe
Annoyed by annoying coworker...and it's eating me. Help.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (23 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Here's the situation...I work in a sales-type profession which I generally enjoy. I get along with my coworkers, but there is this one employee, we'll call her Jill. Jill is a very attractive, busty woman, who gets a lot of male attention. I'm female, not a stunner. I work with plenty of other attractive people (male and female) and yes, it doesn't bother me that people like eye candy and can make more sales just by their looks.
What grates me about Jill, however, is that she likes to ask how my sales are when her own sales numbers are down. I know she doesn't ask any of her super attractive colleagues...she doesn't want to know about their numbers, because they'll often do better than her and make her feel worse (her confession to me). I'm almost 99% certain she asks me my numbers to make her feel better about herself. I feel like I'm her emotional crutch.
We have been coworkers for years. She probably considers me a buddy but inside I find this behavior irksome and sometimes infuriating. I really don't want to rock the boat at work by telling her I feel. Especially since she is buddy buddy with the big boss. On the other hand I feel like I'd just soon as not see her stupid face. It's gotten to the point where I simply actively avoid her. It's almost come to the point where a great day is a day where I don't see her. At all.
What I truly hate is that I never considered myself an envious person before, but somehow this has sparked a level of jealousy and resentment in me (whenever her figures are good) that I find very distasteful.
Am I being overly sensitive? Am I over reacting?
How do I stop feeling resentful, inferior, and jealous? Any exercises you could recommend? Or a change in perspective?
How would you deal with this situation? Have you ever dealt with something like this before?
Sorry if this is longwinded. It's been bothering me for a while and my thoughts are snowballing.