How do I take a compliment?
December 27, 2011 1:20 PM Subscribe
How do you internalize compliments and praise?
posted by griphus to human relations (17 answers total) 22 users marked this as a favorite
I mean, outwardly I am fine; I know how to be grateful and the social aspect of taking a compliment isn't the issue here. I just have a hard time really accepting them.
Due to baggage from my formative years (which I am working on with the help of a professional, so that angle is covered) I have a really hard time taking compliments and accepting praise. I grew up in a household where the rule of thumb was (and I am being generous here): "if you get praised for anything but perfect work, it will discourage you from wanting to improve."
Most of the time I just get sort of defensive (again, on the inside) to the tune of "whatever, I'm just doing my job" or "whatever, this is what decent people do." Intellectually, I know that internalizing praise isn't going to make me lazy or big-headed. But, you know, first reaction is just to sort of wave it off and go back to work. But, dammit, I want compliments and praise to make me feel good as opposed to uncomfortable and ever-so-slightly contemptuous for the person who thinks what I am doing is actually "good." (Which, again, I intellectually know is good.)