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February 18, 2010 12:30 PM   Subscribe

Why does my 7-year-old daughter always seek praise and how do I deal with it? I need suggestions for specific responses.

My daughter is a happy, well-adjusted 7-year-old. She’s funny and kind and has lots of friends. She’s also intelligent and has no problems at school. She’s not particularly shy or timid, and will readily try new things. All in all, a great kid. The problem? She seeks a lot of praise for little things, especially for any kind of artwork. She’ll ask for praise througout the entire process. For example, if she’s drawing a picture of a house she’ll ask me “Do you like how I made the roof?” A few minutes later, “Do you like how I coloured the curtains?” When it’s done, “Do you like the picture I made?” This drives me crazy, and I don’t know the correct way to respond. I can’t exactly say “no”, but I feel backed into a corner. Most of the time I just say “yeah, it’s nice” or “mm-hmm”, but it feels fake to me and I’m sure she can sense that. Occasionally I’ve been honest and said something like “hmm, that's not my favourite colour” or “that’s kind of messy, actually” but I can't do that every time...that would just be cruel. Other times I have told her “Ask me when you’re finished so I can see the whole thing” and that works but only in that particular instance.

I’ve read the literature on praising for effort not ability, and I do that. I never say things like “yes, you’re so artistic”...I say things like “I like how you coloured in a pattern” or “that must’ve been hard work making all those leaves”. That’s a fine response to the final question (“do you like it”) but what about the in-between questions? I just don’t understand why she does this and how to make her stop.

For the record, she is not a whiny, attention-seeking brat and she's not an only child. As I noted above, she's a very sweet, well-adjusted kid. She asks these questions sincerely, with a smile on her face...which is why it drives me so batty.
posted by yawper to Human Relations (40 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
keep saying "show me when it's all finished so i can see the whole picture". say it every single time. after enough times she'll adjust her behavior.
posted by nadawi at 12:38 PM on February 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


To me, it doesn't sound like the answers to these questions are really what she's after. I mean, I doubt it's what she actually cares about. To me it sounds like she's trying to please you and make you happy, and is checking to make sure she's succeeding/to make sure she's "okay"

Is there anything real she can do that actually would really please you and make you happy? Something that would give her a sense of accomplishment, or a sense of true usefulness? Are there any slightly challenging real responsibilities you can give her? Something that she can objectively confirm that she has done well?
posted by Ashley801 at 12:40 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


I’ve read the literature on praising for effort not ability

Well, whatever literature that is, burn it. Praise her ability. It sounds like she's starving to hear you say, "Oh, honey, that's a beautiful picture," and mean it.
posted by sageleaf at 12:45 PM on February 18, 2010 [34 favorites]


Sounds to me like she just wants conversation and company and that's how she's getting it. If all you're saying is "Yeah, it's nice" that's dead-ending the interaction, so she has to start again. Have an ongoing conversation with her while she's doing her project and you're doing whatever it is you're doing. If you're too busy to do this at the point she wants it, make an agreement with her, eg "How about you finish your drawing while I put the rest of this laundry away, then we can read a book together." What she wants is to hang out with her mom.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 12:51 PM on February 18, 2010 [24 favorites]


Jesus christ, she's a seven-year-old girl. THIS IS NORMAL BEHAVIOR.

>: It sounds like she's starving to hear you say, "Oh, honey, that's a beautiful picture," and mean it.

This.
posted by dunkadunc at 12:52 PM on February 18, 2010 [16 favorites]


Could you have a talk with her and steer her towards creating art that she likes? Tell her that ultimately if she sticks to her vision of good and bad then she will never have to worry if anybody else likes it?
posted by chrillsicka at 12:55 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


Praise-seeking behavior is endemic of emotional insecurity. That child needs a hug.
posted by jefficator at 12:56 PM on February 18, 2010


It sounds totally normal to me. She wants you to like her pictures and talk to her, not brush off her questions. Sounds like me when I was 7 after I was in a play or something ... "What was your favorite part?" "Did you like the song I sang?" etc.
posted by elisabethjw at 12:57 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


hehe, sageleaf and dunkadunc...perhaps it would help if I gave some context. There are plenty of times when she makes wonderful pictures, or cards that say how much she loves me, and of course I praise those sincerely and heartily (“it’s beautiful, I love it!”). I put those up on the fridge, etc. But the sheer volume is overwhelming. My daughter draws multiple pictures a day. She draws or colours on just about anything she can find.
posted by yawper at 12:57 PM on February 18, 2010


You know, the answers “I like how you coloured in a pattern” or “that must’ve been hard work making all those leaves” are not really such great replies to the question "Do you like it?". I don't think anyone, least of all a child, would want to hear that when showing someone their artwork. It's just... kind of a lukewarm response. It's what someone says when they don't really like your work and are trying to find something nice to say about it. She's your daughter. She needs to hear you praise her work.
posted by Jelly at 1:05 PM on February 18, 2010 [6 favorites]


Have you thought about enrolling her in an age-appropriate art class? Maybe you've already done this, but it might diffuse some of the seeking-praise-from-you and she might expend some of her artistic energy there so you aren't getting questions about multiple pictures each day?
posted by elisabethjw at 1:05 PM on February 18, 2010


Seconding that she just wants to be talking to you. Can you engage her in other ways? Ask her about what she's doing, tell her stories about your life, explain what you're doing, play easy word games. One easy game you can play is this: you say a word. Then she has to say a word that starts with the last letter in your word. Then you... then her... (e.g. apple, elephant, tomato, orange, eagle...). It's easy and it's a way for her to interact with her without the praising dynamic.
posted by prefpara at 1:07 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


It seems to me that your daughter is very talented and perhaps she would benefit from art lessons or something like that.

Also:

I think you should tell her:
Do YOU like how you colored your drawing?

It's perfectly normal behaviour, but I'd try to take advantage of these situations to try teach a broader message.
posted by uauage at 1:07 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


Emphasize to her, "Tell me what YOU like about it, Honey." Or, "Why did YOU choose purple for the curtains?" Get into a discussion about the picture, to deflect the question of praise, and focus on how she is pleasing herself and building her own sense of self. Of course she'll still look to you for approval for a few years yet, which is normal.

It sounds like you are doing great by praising the effort and being specific. As you've read, I'm sure, vague praise turns kids into people-pleasers. As in, "You're a good girl for doing extra chores." (Kid's translation: I'm only a good, worthwhile person if I always do extra, but not if I do the normal amount.) So I suspect that the specific praise you are giving is actually a very good thing for her.
posted by Knowyournuts at 1:14 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


Is she the eldest child, or at least not the youngest? Perhaps, unconsciously, she's attempting to demonstrate that she has skills which her younger siblings lack which ought to make you love her more. In this hypothesis she's not seeking praise, as such, but reassurance that she is still important to you. Kids are intensely, primally sensitive to hierarchies, perhaps more so than adults are. And if I do something cool at work I'm pretty disappointed if my big boss doesn't get to know about it. In the end you'd rather have a child (particularly a seven year old) who seeks your approval and attention rather than a surly premature teen who doesn't give a flying fig.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:17 PM on February 18, 2010


Oh, and elisabethjw's idea of art classes is great. Your daughter obviously really loves drawing and could benefit from taking classes, and that way she might seek your praise a little less often.
posted by Jelly at 1:17 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


Hey, uauage, I had my window open too long to see your great reply.

I also wanted to mention that my info comes from Ginott's book.
posted by Knowyournuts at 1:17 PM on February 18, 2010


I'd spin the question back to her. When asked "Do you like x?" try replying with "What do you like about x?" It may get her thinking about her own work a bit more. I think she's looking to find out what is good and why so that she can learn more about her own drawings. Much like an artist observing people viewing their art, they want to find out what people like and what people don't -- she just does it in a much more explicit way. Try getting her to think about her own art and construct her own opinions on it.

Similar to what nadawi mentioned, try telling her to only show you the final picture. You can give the reasoning as "a real artist waits until the art is perfect until they show it off" or something like that.

Regarding the sheer volume, I'd suggest two things:
1) Get a pciture frame or two and/or find a special place on the fridge and get her to select one or two of her best pictures she drew that week and display them proudly. She might work harder to improve on her picture from last week. It will also teach her about quality over quantity.
2) Get her a big book or binder to keep all her other pictures in. This is her portfolio. She can flip through it herself or bring it out for visitors to see. All her pictures are kept together (in a "real artist"-type format and you won't be taping pictures to the dog's back because there's literally no where left in the house for another one of her creations (I went through a phase like this myself).


She seems like a smart kid. I'd encourage her creativity and lead her towards how artists work in real life.
posted by Kippersoft at 1:20 PM on February 18, 2010 [2 favorites]


Options:
1) Help her understand your dilemma: "Sweetie, I like that you want to share your drawing time with me, but when you ask me so many questions it means I can't get my project done. Let's talk a little when you're done with the drawing and I'm done with my project." (We use "project" at our house to cover everything from reading to making dinner.) In the process you're teaching her the skill of how to respond to interruptions she experiences.

2) Give in. Draw with her. Ramp up the praise. Have fun with it. After a few days of this she'll probably dial it back a bit.

3) Go all technical on her: "Yeah, that's a cool roof. It's called a pitched roof. A pitch is an angle. Some roofs are flat and some are pitched. Why do you think that is?" It shows you're interested, invites follow-on thinking from her, and piggybacks on her interests. You can get her a book for drawing reference (I like The Macmillan Visual Dictionary) so there's something else for her to interact with.

Also, many 7-year-olds are coming out of an extended phase of fielding questions about every possible thing they could reasonably have control over: "Do you want to wear your red pants or blue? Do you want an orange or a banana? Do you want to draw or play dress up?" That's a great strategy for ages 3-6ish and it may just be that she's internalized it and is playing it back to you.
posted by cocoagirl at 1:21 PM on February 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


Ask her what she thinks. When she asks if you like the color of the curtains, answer her and ask her what she thinks of the color. Ask her what her favorite color, favorite thing to draw, etc. She might need more attention in general and is looking for conversation.

Reinforce the idea that nobody has to like the picture but her. Enjoying creating is more important than external praise, even from a parent. It doesn't matter what you think of her picture. You could say something like, "I do like all of your pictures. I love that you have so much fun drawing. It doesn't matter what I think about your picture, though. Do you like it? Was it fun drawing it? That is the most important thing."

Hang a clothes line in her room with clips so she can display the art for herself. Keep saying mm-hmm if you want. I would. You can't give her your undivided attention all of the time. Be funny if you have that kind of relationship. Do you like how I'm stirring this soup? Do you like how I'm mopping this floor? Do you like how I'm folding this t-shirt? Laugh along and let her know you are kidding around and give her a big hug.
posted by Fairchild at 1:25 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


Lord the metaHaters come out when parents ask questions.... You sound like you have a lovely daughter, and thank you for being a mindful enough parent to support her efforts.

I hear what you are saying, and its difficult to not just respond at face value, but I think sometimes kids pick up habits of question asking to keep conversation moving... obviously, even a well-adjusted 7 year old isn't quite able to contribute wonderful conversations. For example, did your daughter go through that 2-3 year old habit of asking "why" a hundred and fifty times a day, even when not conversationally appropriate? I think kids are just practicing talking... so maybe don't answer directly "do you like the roof" but say "that roof reminds me of..".
posted by RajahKing at 1:28 PM on February 18, 2010



I’ve read the literature on praising for effort not ability

Well, whatever literature that is, burn it. Praise her ability. It sounds like she's starving to hear you say, "Oh, honey, that's a beautiful picture," and mean it.


I get where you're coming from, sageleaf, but the point behind those studies is that children who are congratulated with "hey, good job on working hard" rather than "good job on being such a smart kid" are more likely to take risks and put forth effort. Conversely, kids lauded for so-called innate abilities are terrified of not living up to static labels like "smart" or "good artist" or "excellent athlete." That sort of praise encourages kids to think inside the box, strive for a good answer rather than an original one, and always, always think like the authoritarian figures in the room.

It's great to tell your kid "that's a beautiful picture" a lot, because kids need encouragement and support, but if the OP's daughter is demanding this reassurance all day, every day, then it's clear she's relying a whole lot on what other people think and is insecure about her own abilities until someone else, someone whose opinion she values, says it's suitable.

I do think that good advice in this thread, ie, asking her how she feels about her picture, are an improvement to both ceaselessly praising her all damn day as well as offering half-hearted "mmhmm very nice" responses that exacerbate her insecurity. When you ask her about her own feelings on her drawing, you're redirecting her need for your endless praise into something more introspective and constructive.
posted by zoomorphic at 1:33 PM on February 18, 2010 [13 favorites]


Well, whatever literature that is, burn it. Praise her ability.

I disagree. If she gets praise for only the things she's mastered, she may never try to put in the hard work and effort necessary to achieve important things. She may stick to drawing in patterns because writing is too hard or math is too hard or engineering is too hard and why not just do what she gets praised for naturally? The purpose of praising effort is to show that while natural intelligence and ability are good, you need to get used to trying and failing and trying again, and putting in effort. And a lot of Mefites ask questions like, "Oh, I never had to work hard because I was naturally good at stuff and did that stuff because I was good at it, and now I'm supposed to work hard and I just don't know how to or how I can stay motivated. So I'm 40 and want to learn calculus, but I get so discouraged because it's hard for me and I don't like feeling dumb because I can't help but think that all the dumb people are the ones that have to work hard and if I work hard, I feel dumb. What do I do?"

However, if you yourself don't believe effort matters, then she'll sense that you think less of her for working hard and are just talking bs you read out of a book.
posted by anniecat at 1:34 PM on February 18, 2010 [4 favorites]


It's entirely possible to praise effort while also complimenting the outcome: "That picture is really gorgeous. You worked really hard on drawing those flowers, huh? It shows. They look so pretty!" instead of "That picture is really gorgeous. You're so talented! A natural Picasso!" The second method of praise assumes that ability is all that's necessary to create something beautiful. The first compliments both the effort required for the outcome, and the eventual outcome.

Which is important, too, if you want to teach her to work hard. Because she needs to get something--praise or personal satisfaction or the happiness of her dad--from her hard work, because otherwise, why work at all? And honestly, seven might be a little young to get much of the personal satisfaction stuff, anyway.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:39 PM on February 18, 2010 [6 favorites]


I remember when I was a little girl, I was OBSESSED with drawing rainbows. I had just learned the color spectrum in kindergarten and so every single drawing had a rainbow in the background. One day my mom just snapped at me "I don't ever want to see another drawing of yours that has a rainbow in it."

And I remember thinking, "But I LIKE rainbows." And it hurt my feelings, that my mom wouldn't want to see something I had created, even if there was a rainbow in the background. I couldn't filter out that she was just exaggerating, having a bad day, whatever. From that point on, I started worrying about what my mother thought about my artwork, and I stopped enjoying it as much.

Which is all to say, pretend to like your kid's artwork. Even if you're sick of the purple curtains and patterns. It doesn't take that much effort. Let the art teachers encourage them in different directions, your job is to make them feel good about whatever it is they've created.
posted by egeanin at 1:45 PM on February 18, 2010 [7 favorites]


This seems like a stretch, but just to rule it out, could you be over-praising her effort? She might be used to praise as a kind of ritual after she does something.

I think she's just trying to register her experience with you, sort of like checking in. Possibly you could give her different, and more satisfying ways of doing this. You could encourage her to show it to Daddy when he gets home and/or find a place in the house to display her work, like the fridge door. You could ask her to make cards for relatives and friends, and maybe help her to mail them.

To me, 7 years old isn't an appropriate age to teach them to not care about what other people think and just worry about themselves. If anything, they need to feel that their actions have significance to others, certainly in their family. The part about this that gives me pause is that your daughter thinks that the way to be significant to others is by doing things that please them, which isn't bad all by itself.

But it's important for them to feel like they're loved and accepted in the family no matter what. The problem with praise, even praising effort, is that it often sends the opposite message, that love is conditional: on behavior, on having certain attributes like intelligence or beauty, on your artwork, on effort, etc.
posted by AlsoMike at 1:51 PM on February 18, 2010


Geez, some of these answers seem kind of harsh.

Yes, this is perfectly normal behavior. It's the 7-year-old's version of MOM MOM HEY MOM LOOKATMELOOKATMEMOM HEY and it gets wearying after awhile.

Unfortunately, kids instantly pick up on the "yeah, that's nice" so maybe she's not feeling heard. Can you approach it like an actor? How can you make the 7 millionth version of this conversation different from last one? If she feels like you're more engaged with her in the activity, maybe you can break the pattern of her needing constant reassurance.

My daughter was very verbal at that age, so I might have addressed it directly with her. "Wow, that's the 10th time you've asked me if I like your picture. You know, the important thing is whether you're having fun and you like your picture. It's ok if you don't check in with me at every step." YMMV.
posted by Space Kitty at 1:54 PM on February 18, 2010 [4 favorites]


7 is a little older than my age of expertise (I work with toddlers/preschoolers), but I have to say that you are absolutely 100% doing the right thing in terms of talking about her work. I'm a nanny and do a TON of work with kids and art and have experience in Early Childhood Education and can absolutely back up that empty praise ("Oh, what a beautiful picture!") isn't helpful for artistic development. Your talking about specifics is absolutely what you should be doing, and keep doing it.

And in the meantime, yes, absolutely insist that real artists don't show their work until it's finished. And I second the idea of getting her a portfolio. Anything you can to make her feel like a "real" artist. Also, accept your role as her preferred audience. Embrace it. Ask her why she made things a certain way, what she was thinking about when she made the picture, etc.

It won't hurt her any in the long run if you simply start praising her work, but it will help her a lot more if you encourage real artistic development.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:55 PM on February 18, 2010 [3 favorites]


To answer some questions:

Yes, she is the eldest child (of 2) and there is some normal jockeying for attention. That could be part of it.

For those who feel she “needs a hug”...I know it’s hard to understand the whole picture from one Askme post, but please trust me...she gets plenty of hugs. There is lots of love and laughter in our house. If there weren’t, she wouldn’t be such a happy child! This is actually WHY it’s so maddening to me -- this praise-seeking seems contradictory to the rest of her personality.

And I can see how the praise I typed out might seem dry, but I say it with sincerity and emotion (I really do LOOK for specific things that I like about her art, I don’t make stuff up). It’s more like “Great, sweetie! I especially like how you coloured in a pattern”. The problem is, I shouldn’t have to do that multiple times for ONE drawing.

Thanks for all the replies. There is some excellent advice in here.
posted by yawper at 1:55 PM on February 18, 2010


The more frustrated and exasperated you are the more she is going to instinctively ask for praise. At this point, it's pretty much impossible that you would not be a little exasperated at being asked for praise every minute on the minute. So resetting your own reaction by talking to her when it's not driving you bonkers will help you both.

Consider sitting down with her sometime when she's not asking for praise and having a conversation with her about it. "Hey honey, I just want you to know that it's fine to do things just because you like doing them. You're great at drawing and it's really fun for you! That's wonderful. You should do it because you enjoy doing it. I really like you and I think you're great. I love hanging out with you." It sounds like she needs reassuring that she's doing the "right" thing. After you let her know that you are really invested in her and you love that she draws answer "I love that you're drawing and enjoying it! Will you tell me about the picture you're drawing?" when she asks for praise.
posted by stoneweaver at 2:02 PM on February 18, 2010


Have you talked with her about it?
'babyYawp, I think it's beautiful. I love seeing you draw, and I love how you keep practicing and the beautiful things you come up with. But you know, does it really matter what I think? What if you drew something and I didn't like it but you did? And what would happen if you decided you wanted to draw an elephant, and it kept coming out bad? How would you feel about it? What would you do then?'
And so on. She'll keep asking you and I think you should keep telling her it's great and, like others have said, taking interest in whhat's going on in the drawing in general. But every so often try to get across the idea that her opinion is just as important as your here -- even more.
posted by mail at 2:04 PM on February 18, 2010 [5 favorites]


You might find something that will work for a while. But in about 2.5 years she'll be drawing tons in her notebook and might go ballistic if you try to even sneak a peak. So... maybe the best parenting advice still applies? "It won't last forever."

And yeah, get her into an art class, or even following along with an art DVD, or art book. Maybe she can work on a whole page of a "project" and you can set-up a kind of Q&A after where you ask HER about the piece.
posted by barnone at 2:05 PM on February 18, 2010


It sounds like she is trying to converse. Why don't you just answer he question and then ask one of your own. If you don't want to talk about the pictures all the time your question can lead the conversation like saying "I think that house is really beautiful. What kind of family do you think would live in a house like that and what would they be eating for dinner?" She's a 7 year old and you are an adult. Try to remember tha tshe still has an imagination. Enjoy the craziness of it!
posted by WeekendJen at 2:08 PM on February 18, 2010


I think Nadawi's answer had it -- you're just looking for a way out of the constant feedback loop:


keep saying "show me when it's all finished so i can see the whole picture". say it every single time. after enough times she'll adjust her behavior.


And then say, 'It's beautiful, sweetie' and put it on the refrigerator. She just wants ritualistic praise. You want not to be bugged for it every five seconds. If I were you, I wouldn't ever bother with 'well, it's not my favorite blue' or whatever -- I come from a background where criticism is a sign of respect, but in a kid -- she doesn't want that, she is asking to be told that you love her and think she's great. Maybe feeling a little insecure about the younger kids, who knows? All she wants to hear is "awesome" and I think you should give it to her, just get her to ask for it less often.

I don't think it's something to over think too much -- just recognize your needs and her needs and try to cover them both.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 3:50 PM on February 18, 2010


+1 redirecting the question to her: "Do you like it? What do you like about it? Maybe when I'm finished what I'm doing you can teach me how you did that with the roof."

She knows when you're praising her genuinely, and when it's just a loving back-and-forth between you two. When my son was about that age I praised him for something he'd done, a drawing or something probably, and he said "well of course you say that--you're my mom."
posted by headnsouth at 4:03 PM on February 18, 2010 [1 favorite]


The Five Love Languages is a book the minister gave my wife and I to read before we got married and we liked it enough to have given away a few copies. Essentially, we all express love through:
gifts, words, acts of service, physical affection, and quality time. Which one is your daughters? Which one is yours?

Heres a link to the five love languages of children that might be more apropos.
posted by mearls at 7:14 PM on February 18, 2010


Sounds to me like she just wants conversation and company and that's how she's getting it.

Absolutely this. My daughter (almost nine) is just coming out of a phase where she would constantly ask me the most inane questions. Things like "What is your favorite color?" and "How much do you love me?" over and over again. One day she said, "You know, Dad, I feel kind of silly asking these questions over and over again, but I'm just trying to start a conversation." It wasn't that I didn't talk to her -- we talk all the time -- it's just that she was (and is) learning how one has a conversation. Of course many of her early attempts are going to be clumsy and repetitive, just like any new learned skill. I found the best strategy was to use her rather blunt conversation starter as a jumping off point into whatever else I felt like talking to her about -- the content of the conversation didn't matter, as long as we were having one.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:00 PM on February 18, 2010 [5 favorites]


Everyone wants to feel accepted.
posted by RawrGulMuffins at 8:31 PM on February 18, 2010


Occasionally I’ve been honest and said something like “hmm, that's not my favourite colour” or “that’s kind of messy, actually” but I can't do that every time...that would just be cruel

Am I the only one who thinks this is an unnecessary amount of criticism for the artwork of a 7 year old? I'm probably wrong, but isn't this kind of feedback more appropriate for...well, someone who you commissioned to do a painting or hired to do a graphic project? Even with an adult I wouldn't give this kind of feedback unless I was paying them for a painting/art. In fact, I won't ever criticize someone's art work unless the person asks me specifically for criticism...and if that person is an adult.


But the sheer volume is overwhelming. My daughter draws multiple pictures a day. She draws or colours on just about anything she can find.


Anyways, I think she's just wanting attention. We all need attention (you don't have to be an "attention-seeking brat" to want it). She's asking you to pay attention to her, and perhaps she's not knowing quite how. So she asks you to look at a drawing. You look at the drawing, and remark on the drawing in an abstract, usually positive way, but the problem is that the remark is still abstract. It is about the drawing, and her need for attention is still vaguely unfulfilled.

Maybe the next time she asks, you turn the attention to her. "This brown is just like the color of your hair! Crazy, huh!" And just be silly with her.

I think she might appreciate it more than what I'm sure are your very well-grounded art critiques.
posted by thisperon at 4:21 AM on February 19, 2010


Thank you all for the wonderful answers. I think, in a nutshell, it boils down to what thisperon said above: She's asking you to pay attention to her, and perhaps she's not knowing quite how. She is such a good, easy kid overall that she probably feels taken for granted sometimes. I will find better ways to show her that I love and appreciate her!

mearls, thanks so much for sharing that link...just giving it a brief reading, I saw immediately that my daughter's way of showing love is giving gifts (hence all the artwork she makes, for me and other people). I think she would be thrilled if I drew a picture just for her.
posted by yawper at 6:58 AM on February 19, 2010


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