Too sad to be good convo partner?
December 1, 2011 12:24 PM Subscribe
Ok, so I've been having this problem lately (and I think it's related to my recent depression) where I meet new people and kind of expect that I'll never develop any friendship with them, but then it actually does happen, and I realize in horror that when they bring up previous conversations we've had, I act completely clueless because I didn't bother to remember it in the first place, and they say something like, "Remember we were talking about how my mom lives literally right next door to you?" (seriously, that happened today) and I remember suddenly, but clearly have already made it obvious that I didn't remember it in the first place... That's been happening a lot lately, and I want to know how to recall what I talked about with people more.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (8 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
The thing is, I'm not always like this. I've been diagnosed with depression in the past, and in the face of a recently more stressful period in my life, went back on pills (Lexapro). My mood isn't the worst it's ever been, but it's enough to drive me to distraction in social settings.
I just got back on pills this week, but I remember the last time I was prescribed something, and I don't feel like medication really made much difference; what changed was a certain couple of life circumstances that were out of my control, but happened to shift things in my life for the better. So this time around, even though I know the pills are a positive thing, even if just for the placebo effect, I'm not sure it's going to do much without working on how I think.
I'm pretty poor, so my "therapist" is someone who basically talks to me for a few minutes when she renews my subscription, which of course is not very often. But I've been in CBT before, own the Feeling Good Handbook (though I admit I haven't had the guts to open it in a while), and want to use this time to really change some habits of mine that get in the way of what's troubling me, namely that I find my interactions with other people pretty unsatisfying right now.
I want to remember how it was that I used to be able to pick up the convo with someone after a couple weeks. I didn't always have such trouble remembering previous conversations, but it's been happening to me a lot lately. Like, it happened twice today. With both of the girls I'm currently trying to chat up. Ugh.