I need a Splenda-like substitute...for jealousy
November 22, 2011 9:04 AM Subscribe
Lately, my wife only seems to be emotionally and sexually open with me if she senses there are other women (potentially) interested in me. I don't want to make her jealous...
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (38 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Married about 15 years. Been doing couples therapy on and off for last couple of years. Issues? Communication, mostly. For me, lack of sex too. I've done everything she's asked me to make her feel better about our relationship which has included taking on more child responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, letting her get out with her girlfriends, etc...Truth be told, I always did at least 50% of the household chores, etc...I just do more now. At times I feel like the more I do, the more I look like a doormat. FWIW, I work full-time, she's a SAHM...kids are tweens.
I work in a male-dominated office and we recently had a series of interns unlike any we've had in the past. That is to say, super-smart, young, single, attractive, females. My office has always been open to the wife (I've begged her for years to meet me at the office so we could go to lunch more regularly). Well, she finally took me up on the offer for the first time in a long while. While in my office, two of the interns popped into my office for business reasons, said hi, were introduced to my wife, and then left. That night, my wife was suddenly flirty, sultry, emotionally open....suffice it to say I was driven to tears of happiness. I was literally saying to myself, "She's back." Sadly, my wife cooled off emotionally pretty much the very next day. Upon hearing that I might be going out with work colleagues for a beer after work the following week (I never went), she reverted to the warm, fuzzy, cuddly and sexy woman I remembered when we first married, again. And once again it cooled off very quickly. To be clear, I have not had anything other than formal and appropriate relationships with any of the interns. They are just simply there; nice to look at, yes, but work is work.
So it struck me.....for better or for worse, my relationship with my wife has been better (for me) than it's been in a long time when she, presumably, has twinges of jealously. Problem is I don't want to make her jealous...I never have. But I luvvvvvv how she treats me when she is. What might I do to duplicate the brain chemistry she experiences when a little jealous...without being a cad?