How friendly is too friendly with an attached man?
October 30, 2011 9:34 AM Subscribe
Are you a bad person if your guy friend leaves his girlfriend for you?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (56 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
I just moved to a new city and enrolled in a grad program, not knowing anyone at this university. I met a guy who happens to be in all of my classes, and we've started sitting next to each other and working on assignments in between classes together. I would text him about homework related questions, and we'd chit chat a little while working together - nothing flirtatious in my opinion. I found out he had a girlfriend about a month into knowing him when I asked an unrelated question, and hadn't heard anything more about her till she started showing up to sit with us while we worked on our assignments. Now she's always hanging around and trying to get him to leave early, which makes me think she has a problem with my guy friend and I spending so much time together. We do see each other every day of the week due to our schedules. I am attracted to him since it's comfortable being together (and okay, he's cute too). Our personalities click really well, with us finishing each other's sentences and having complementary strengths when it comes to completing the homework assignments. I am not actively pursuing anything other than friendship, but I get the sense that he 's attracted to me as well since I catch him staring at me, he's showing up around me more often, and he seems bored talking to his girlfriend.
Should I stop hanging out with him for his sake and her sake... will karma bite me in the a** if he ends up breaking up with her? Is it immoral? Since they're not married, should I not be worrying about this?
I might be making something out of nothing, but my intuition about guys is rarely wrong. I don't have close male friends, so perhaps I just feel conflicted due to not having much experience with men.