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Low cost gift ideas for my amazing husband
October 15, 2011 11:49 AM   Subscribe

Help me come up with a fantastic birthday gift for my husband. Special circumstances make this challenging. (Maybe a little NSFW).

Ok, so I had a baby two weeks ago. I've been on bed rest since two days before the birth, and will continue to be on almost-bed-rest for another month or so. My husband has had to do EVERYTHING, including caring for our 2 1/2 year old, bringing me food & bev, cleaning, groceries, laundry. On top of all this he came down with bronchitis (verging on pneumonia) 12 days ago. It's been intense, and I want to show him how much I appreciate his fabulousness. Going out for a fancy dinner is tricky, 'cause his birthday is November 5th (not quite the 6-week mark, when milk supply is established and I'm released from resting all the damn time). I'd like to treat him to a dirty hotel weekend, but the reason for the bed rest is my girl parts aren't behaving as they should, and money is tight right now.

That's a lot of "but but but". Here's what he likes (he's a creative-type in the film & tv industry):

The Ottawa Senators (rabid fan)
Beautifully shot MF or FF porn (in the vein of I Feel Myself)
Excellent TV (Breaking Bad, Deadwood, Modern Family, Dexter and the like)
I bought him an Armani sweater that he loved when we were more flush
Our kids

Hit me with your creative, cheap ideas that can be executed from a prone position.
posted by lizifer to Human Relations (5 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
What about some Ottawa Senators merchandise? Not ordinary things like a jersey or hat, but things like signed prints of favorite players, game-used pucks, and other collectible-type things they have here and you can drill it down to your price range using the navigation on the left.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 11:58 AM on October 15, 2011

If I had a fabulous arty-porn-loving dude in my life and fate prevented me from giving him a much-deserved dirty hotel weekend, I'd think some softcore nudie pics would be the next best thing. Normally I wouldn't suggest this, but you do mention being bummed that a Sexy Fun Time present is not in the cards; I hope it doesn't sound out of line.

On a more practical note: can you buy him a little free time? Occasional babysitter even if you aren't going out? Diaper service? Laundry service? Grocery delivery? Something like that? Even if it's not exactly a romantic gift I'm guessing he'll appreciate it.

On a slightly-less-practical-again note: you can probably get a really nice birthday dinner delivered to your door if you do a little research. There are very good restaurants who will still put together a to-go order if you go out of your way to ask. Of course, some places will get all snooty and tell you they're Above All That, but fuck 'em, call someone else. Get a friend to pick it up and deliver it, or hire a stranger from Craigslist if you need to. Park the toddler with a babysitter, order something extravagantly delicious, light some candles, eat in your pajamas. Happy birthday, amazing husband.
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:33 PM on October 15, 2011 [4 favorites]

I'd honestly (and this is just me, YMMV) consider giving him some thoughtful porn that caters to his taste (you're going to be in bed, so you can certainly look up and order this online!) with a sexy personal note that says something along the lines of, "I can't wait until we can do this together! Counting the days until then, lizifer."

And then I'd go along with nebulawindphone's idea to have someone else take over for the chores and spend the evening in bed together as a couple (as much as you can with new baby).
posted by misha at 4:31 PM on October 15, 2011

Coupons, good for one free dirty hotel weekend at some indeterminate point later when your girlparts are up to the challenge (as well as other things). I did this for an SO back in the day and they were received quite well. You could customize yours to be, like, 'Get Out Of Doing The Dishes/Laundry/Cleaning the Bathroom' cards since he's having to do it all the time right now. Gives him a free pass to skip doing something after you're able to take over more. (Also good for hugs, kisses, backrubs, etc.)

Also, another friend used to do photo shoots. No actual nudity, but plenty of rumpled sheets, tousled hair, and little grins. The object was to be sexy, not pornographic. Make a little book out of it with a few stories about your favorite times with him, and heeey, how YOU doin. (This might work better for next year, but that's me, always thinking ahead.)
posted by Heretical at 5:34 PM on October 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hire a postpartum doula or someone else for a day or a few days to give him a break from doing all the extra work that he's been doing! I would love not to have to do laundry or dishes or anything on my birthday and just be able to spend quality time with my wife and kids.

PS Congrats on the new baby!
posted by brave little toaster at 10:01 PM on October 15, 2011

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