What should I do in the aftermath of a robbery and assault?
October 5, 2011 6:34 PM Subscribe
I was robbed and assaulted today. I'm trying to think of things I should be sure to do in the aftermath. Any advice?
So I was in the vestibule of my home building. These two men came up behind me and grabbed my iPad and my purse. The police were notified, though I didn't get a good look at them.
I've gotten the bag back - they took my money, cell phone (I suspended service), and my debit card (already called the bank to block the card).
The iPad (no password) I'm a bit worried about - I had apps, etc. where I had put in passwords. I've created new passwords for everything I could think of (with iTunes help). Unfortunately, I can't remote wipe it (it's not showing up on mobileme; maybe I didn't install findme correctly?).
Anyway, two questions: 1) Is there anything else I should be doing damage-control wise?
2) What can I do to prevent this as much as possible? Its never happened before, and I've always felt pretty good about my cautiousness, but I'm kind of rattled now. Since it happened in my own building, in broad daylight with plenty of witnesses around - I just don't feel good about my future safety (esp. given my small stature).
So I was in the vestibule of my home building. These two men came up behind me and grabbed my iPad and my purse. The police were notified, though I didn't get a good look at them.
I've gotten the bag back - they took my money, cell phone (I suspended service), and my debit card (already called the bank to block the card).
The iPad (no password) I'm a bit worried about - I had apps, etc. where I had put in passwords. I've created new passwords for everything I could think of (with iTunes help). Unfortunately, I can't remote wipe it (it's not showing up on mobileme; maybe I didn't install findme correctly?).
Anyway, two questions: 1) Is there anything else I should be doing damage-control wise?
2) What can I do to prevent this as much as possible? Its never happened before, and I've always felt pretty good about my cautiousness, but I'm kind of rattled now. Since it happened in my own building, in broad daylight with plenty of witnesses around - I just don't feel good about my future safety (esp. given my small stature).
1. Keep checking mobileme. When they get near a wifi hopefully it will show up.
2. Check for new listings on your local craigslist for ipads that match your description.
3. Look around the area where you were robbed and try and see if there are any videocameras within half a block. The robbers may have been caught on tape. Try to schooze the owner/operators of the videocams to let you look the footage for the time period involved. Most footage will be overwritten in a day or two.
4. Change ALL your passwords. Most people use a single password for everything - bank accounts, itunes, etc. If you are like everyone else change all your passwords right now because it is possible to extract the stored passwords from the ipad keychain.
5. in the future use a pin on your ipad and set it to wipe the device after x number of wrong attempts.
There is not a lot you can do to stop a two on one attack. Even if you had pepper spray , or a taser you'd be taking a risk - especially if both of them were armed. Keeping good situational awareness in the future is probably the best thing you can do. These things happen unfortunately,
posted by Poet_Lariat at 6:48 PM on October 5, 2011 [4 favorites]
2. Check for new listings on your local craigslist for ipads that match your description.
3. Look around the area where you were robbed and try and see if there are any videocameras within half a block. The robbers may have been caught on tape. Try to schooze the owner/operators of the videocams to let you look the footage for the time period involved. Most footage will be overwritten in a day or two.
4. Change ALL your passwords. Most people use a single password for everything - bank accounts, itunes, etc. If you are like everyone else change all your passwords right now because it is possible to extract the stored passwords from the ipad keychain.
5. in the future use a pin on your ipad and set it to wipe the device after x number of wrong attempts.
There is not a lot you can do to stop a two on one attack. Even if you had pepper spray , or a taser you'd be taking a risk - especially if both of them were armed. Keeping good situational awareness in the future is probably the best thing you can do. These things happen unfortunately,
posted by Poet_Lariat at 6:48 PM on October 5, 2011 [4 favorites]
Yes, it's time to declare password bankruptcy. EVERYTHING gets a new password.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 6:53 PM on October 5, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 6:53 PM on October 5, 2011 [4 favorites]
Being assaulted/robbed is a little like being rear ended - you don't feel the full effects until a day or two. In addition to the good advice above, make sure you talk to a friend, family member, mom or counselor. The experience can leave you feeling vulnerable and afraid so in addition to taking steps to prevent this from happening again (pepper spray & self-defense) be sure and take care of your mental health too.
posted by knolan at 6:55 PM on October 5, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by knolan at 6:55 PM on October 5, 2011 [6 favorites]
Completely off the track you're expecting (probably): consider seeing a therapist for some short-term counseling. I've been assaulted; it really shoves your world around for a while afterwards.
Also, your GP/internist can prescribe you some anxiety meds p.r.n. (as needed); these can help you sleep and also help you during the day to separate meaningful concerns (credit cards, passwords) from meaningless ("What was that noise???").
Regarding pepper spray: no weapon is useful unless it is in your hands - with the exception of a weapon that is plainly visible to any potential attacker. So, either carry it in your hand always, or sling a rifle over your shoulder when walking (sarcasm). The only real benefit from carrying pepper spray is the (possibly placebo) feeling that it makes you more secure.
In the near term, self-defense classes are similar: you're not going to learn to defend yourself in a one-hour lesson next Wednesday. However, long-term, you will benefit from them, and develop a confidence that you can defend yourself; that confidence will show up in your walk and in your body language to others. It's subtle, but real. Classes explicitly oriented specifically towards women's self-defense are probably the best choice.
One real, honest-to-god thing you can do that can help discourage attackers: walk with your cellphone to your ear. Not necessarily covering it, but near it, simulating an active line to someone. In the slum neighborhoods I drive through, this is a constant feature of women walking alone. It seems to be saying, "If you mess with me, someone will know immediately who can send help."
posted by IAmBroom at 6:56 PM on October 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Also, your GP/internist can prescribe you some anxiety meds p.r.n. (as needed); these can help you sleep and also help you during the day to separate meaningful concerns (credit cards, passwords) from meaningless ("What was that noise???").
Regarding pepper spray: no weapon is useful unless it is in your hands - with the exception of a weapon that is plainly visible to any potential attacker. So, either carry it in your hand always, or sling a rifle over your shoulder when walking (sarcasm). The only real benefit from carrying pepper spray is the (possibly placebo) feeling that it makes you more secure.
In the near term, self-defense classes are similar: you're not going to learn to defend yourself in a one-hour lesson next Wednesday. However, long-term, you will benefit from them, and develop a confidence that you can defend yourself; that confidence will show up in your walk and in your body language to others. It's subtle, but real. Classes explicitly oriented specifically towards women's self-defense are probably the best choice.
One real, honest-to-god thing you can do that can help discourage attackers: walk with your cellphone to your ear. Not necessarily covering it, but near it, simulating an active line to someone. In the slum neighborhoods I drive through, this is a constant feature of women walking alone. It seems to be saying, "If you mess with me, someone will know immediately who can send help."
posted by IAmBroom at 6:56 PM on October 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Just wanted to repeat what knolan just said - something similar happened to me recently, and I felt very strange for a few days, and burst into tears a few times, unexpectedly. Be sure to talk to someone, be around people and friends, and just go easy on yourself for a while.
Re: IAmBroom - about the cellphone. Walking with it pressed to your ear is an option - but I suggest NOT actually using it. I was assaulted on a dark street, while on the phone with my boyfriend. I was distracted by the phone, and clearly an easy target. Instead, simulate a conversation, or call someone, tell them to walk you home, and keep the chit chat to a minimum, but stay alert to your surroundings.
posted by stray at 7:00 PM on October 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Re: IAmBroom - about the cellphone. Walking with it pressed to your ear is an option - but I suggest NOT actually using it. I was assaulted on a dark street, while on the phone with my boyfriend. I was distracted by the phone, and clearly an easy target. Instead, simulate a conversation, or call someone, tell them to walk you home, and keep the chit chat to a minimum, but stay alert to your surroundings.
posted by stray at 7:00 PM on October 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Regarding pepper spray: no weapon is useful unless it is in your hands and you're trained (and constantly up to speed) in how to use it, and you're prepared to deal with the consequences of it being taken off you and used against you.
Generally speaking, unless you're a professional ninja, don't carry weapons.
One thing you're going to have to deal with is the emotional effect from the fact that it happened in your own building. I was violently mugged about a block from my house on streets I'd been walking for decades, and in the immediate aftermath I took to riding my bike instead of walking, pretty much always, on the basis that on a bike I could just scoot off fast if anybody dodgy was around, so that was my safety blanket for a while, but now I'm right back to normal.
Similarly, you might want to come up with some plan that will make you feel like it's safe again to enter & leave your building. Maybe you can time it to be walking with another person, or you get your routine sorted out so you're through that common area in a flash, keys at the ready? Whatever works for you, but you need to "reclaim" that space over time.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:47 PM on October 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Generally speaking, unless you're a professional ninja, don't carry weapons.
One thing you're going to have to deal with is the emotional effect from the fact that it happened in your own building. I was violently mugged about a block from my house on streets I'd been walking for decades, and in the immediate aftermath I took to riding my bike instead of walking, pretty much always, on the basis that on a bike I could just scoot off fast if anybody dodgy was around, so that was my safety blanket for a while, but now I'm right back to normal.
Similarly, you might want to come up with some plan that will make you feel like it's safe again to enter & leave your building. Maybe you can time it to be walking with another person, or you get your routine sorted out so you're through that common area in a flash, keys at the ready? Whatever works for you, but you need to "reclaim" that space over time.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:47 PM on October 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Were your keys in the bag? If so, change the relevant locks for your place.
Change all your passwords.
Remember the following:
- It was just stuff, it can be replaced.
- You are unharmed and that is the most important thing.
- It wasn't your fault, and you did not permit it to happen due to your lack of cautiousness, perceived or otherwise.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:27 PM on October 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
Change all your passwords.
Remember the following:
- It was just stuff, it can be replaced.
- You are unharmed and that is the most important thing.
- It wasn't your fault, and you did not permit it to happen due to your lack of cautiousness, perceived or otherwise.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:27 PM on October 5, 2011 [3 favorites]
If you have renter or homeowner's insurance, you should check to see if your items were covered.
As you remember passwords that you need to change, make a list of what accounts you have. That way, if there's any reason in the future you need to reset all your passwords, you'll have a list to start from.
Next- yeah, you'll need someone to talk to about this. I've never had more than my car broken in to, but friends who've been through holdups etc seem to have a hard time getting back to normal without some help.
posted by nat at 9:20 PM on October 5, 2011
As you remember passwords that you need to change, make a list of what accounts you have. That way, if there's any reason in the future you need to reset all your passwords, you'll have a list to start from.
Next- yeah, you'll need someone to talk to about this. I've never had more than my car broken in to, but friends who've been through holdups etc seem to have a hard time getting back to normal without some help.
posted by nat at 9:20 PM on October 5, 2011
I'm really sorry this happened. It's a very unpleasant experience.
I got robbed out of an iPod a few years ago, right outside my home. "Mugging" is almost too strong a word for it, although he cops called it a "strong-arm robbery", which is where people just grab your shit and run. Basically, a teenager engaged me in conversation, got my trust, and made his move.
When the police came to take my report, the guy waited for me to eventually kind of blame myself, for falling victim, and he said: "Stop right there. This guy had a plan to rob you, and he carried it out. You made a judgement call to trust him, and you were wrong. Every day you make judgement calls, and you are usually right." It was a really helpful pep talk.
As for what to do: the best thing to do, if you are going to stay in the same area, is, community organizing, and maintaining a close relationship with the police, both helping them and also putting pressure on them to fight this kind of street crime.
posted by thelonius at 9:20 PM on October 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
I got robbed out of an iPod a few years ago, right outside my home. "Mugging" is almost too strong a word for it, although he cops called it a "strong-arm robbery", which is where people just grab your shit and run. Basically, a teenager engaged me in conversation, got my trust, and made his move.
When the police came to take my report, the guy waited for me to eventually kind of blame myself, for falling victim, and he said: "Stop right there. This guy had a plan to rob you, and he carried it out. You made a judgement call to trust him, and you were wrong. Every day you make judgement calls, and you are usually right." It was a really helpful pep talk.
As for what to do: the best thing to do, if you are going to stay in the same area, is, community organizing, and maintaining a close relationship with the police, both helping them and also putting pressure on them to fight this kind of street crime.
posted by thelonius at 9:20 PM on October 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
How did they get into your vestibule? I would contact the landlord to let her know and to see if there is anything that can be done to secure the building. Also put up a few posters in the building alerting your neighbors to be on the lookout. Maybe someone saw something and did not put 2 and 2 together. If you use GMail, end all your sessions.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:26 PM on October 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:26 PM on October 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Also, make sure to just let yourself feel all those things you're feeling. Trying to get through all the logistics seems like it could make it hard to just allow all yourself to be the emotional human that you are. I've read that many animals when assaulted (or in their case almost eaten) go away and just shake and somehow let all that fear come to the surface.
Also (or again), it was not your fault.
posted by lab.beetle at 10:41 PM on October 5, 2011
Also (or again), it was not your fault.
posted by lab.beetle at 10:41 PM on October 5, 2011
Response by poster: Luckily, I had my keys in my pocket, so they didn't get them. That said, I'm scared that since they know where I live, they may come back and attack me again. The vestibule is an unlocked area; worse still, people often buzz open the door to anyone who seeks entry (we had two burglaries in the building this past summer).
posted by Sakura3210 at 12:01 AM on October 6, 2011
posted by Sakura3210 at 12:01 AM on October 6, 2011
Response by poster: Also, I can't remember their faces, so I 1) was of little help to the cops and 2) probably will not be able to tell who they are unless it happens again. This whole situation is just making me feel horrible.
posted by Sakura3210 at 12:05 AM on October 6, 2011
posted by Sakura3210 at 12:05 AM on October 6, 2011
Play some Tetris, right away. Not some other game, but Tetris. It has some sort of cognitive effect against trauma.
posted by tel3path at 12:39 AM on October 6, 2011
posted by tel3path at 12:39 AM on October 6, 2011
Yeah, can I say (I was kidnapped at gunpont late at night in a scary car jacking) - can I say look after your self. Get someone to talk to about this, you might not feel like it now, but in a few days or a week or so the experience might creep up on you.
posted by the noob at 5:19 AM on October 6, 2011
posted by the noob at 5:19 AM on October 6, 2011
Sign up for a self-defense class. This will teach you some things to do to physically defend yourself, as well as what to say. It will give you the tools to feel confident that you won't be a victim again.
As a former MA practitioner I can tell you that this is bad advice, except if you are willing to walk with a gun, know how to handle a gun and are willing to use it. Same goes for the pepper spray.
Getting robbed and fighting makes things WORSE. You can assume that the people who assault you are stronger and outnumber you. It is a fixed set-up.
You god robbed, you survived. Good. The best advice I can give you is to pay more attention, to become more aware of your surroundings and try to avoid such situations if you can. I traveled in Colombia, Brazil and other risky countries but never run into trouble. I had trouble in NYC when I walked home late, maybe had some drinks and did not pay attention.
posted by yoyo_nyc at 7:34 AM on October 6, 2011 [1 favorite]
Luckily, I had my keys in my pocket, so they didn't get them. That said, I'm scared that since they know where I live, they may come back and attack me again.
This is probably unlikely. This was probably just a randonm gram and you were not targeted specifically. I doubt these two actually care and don't want to to take the risk of actually breaking into a home, or they would have when they had you there and could have taken your keys, or worse.
I would never tell someone not to defend themselves, but unless you were chuck norris i doubt you could have done anything in this case, regardless of how you were armed. Doesn't mean you couldn't next time someone threatens your person. So yeah get some pepper spary and I really like the expandable asp batons (until we can have minbari fighting pikes anyway) but both require some training and practice. Neither is particularly hard to use effectively but you don't want your first time using it to be when you HAVE to use it.
The best defense is avoiding the fight in the first place. Firstly by avoiding the situation (however, going to your home is tough to avoid) when possible, second by avoiding a vulnerable moment (such as just keep walking/driving/waiting in the car) until the threat is passed, and lastly by letting them have the stuff if it will end the confrontation without you getting hurt (I don't really mind the criminals getting hurt-as you sow, so shall you reap).
Lastly, process your emotions, but don't dwell on them and don't endlessly relive the experience. Go out and enjoy life and good health. Hang out with friends, pets, whatever. Hell just go to the mall and walk around until it sinks in that 99.9% of people are peaceful and mean you no harm (at least physically-wall street bankers are another story). IT is ok to be shaken, but it is not ok to turn into paranoid shut in or fearing your own shadow. Bad things happen to us all and you just have to keep on living your life. View it as a learning experience and move on.
posted by bartonlong at 10:22 AM on October 6, 2011
This is probably unlikely. This was probably just a randonm gram and you were not targeted specifically. I doubt these two actually care and don't want to to take the risk of actually breaking into a home, or they would have when they had you there and could have taken your keys, or worse.
I would never tell someone not to defend themselves, but unless you were chuck norris i doubt you could have done anything in this case, regardless of how you were armed. Doesn't mean you couldn't next time someone threatens your person. So yeah get some pepper spary and I really like the expandable asp batons (until we can have minbari fighting pikes anyway) but both require some training and practice. Neither is particularly hard to use effectively but you don't want your first time using it to be when you HAVE to use it.
The best defense is avoiding the fight in the first place. Firstly by avoiding the situation (however, going to your home is tough to avoid) when possible, second by avoiding a vulnerable moment (such as just keep walking/driving/waiting in the car) until the threat is passed, and lastly by letting them have the stuff if it will end the confrontation without you getting hurt (I don't really mind the criminals getting hurt-as you sow, so shall you reap).
Lastly, process your emotions, but don't dwell on them and don't endlessly relive the experience. Go out and enjoy life and good health. Hang out with friends, pets, whatever. Hell just go to the mall and walk around until it sinks in that 99.9% of people are peaceful and mean you no harm (at least physically-wall street bankers are another story). IT is ok to be shaken, but it is not ok to turn into paranoid shut in or fearing your own shadow. Bad things happen to us all and you just have to keep on living your life. View it as a learning experience and move on.
posted by bartonlong at 10:22 AM on October 6, 2011
That said, I'm scared that since they know where I live, they may come back and attack me again.
No, this is very unlikely. This doesn't seem to be a targeted attack - they didn't attack you because you were specifically you. More likely to be a crime of opportunity.
They're not coming back. For them, the risk is too great - you may have seen them before, you may be on your guard now - and the rewards are low, since they already grabbed your easily grabbable stuff. You have nothing to fear from those guys.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:33 PM on October 6, 2011
No, this is very unlikely. This doesn't seem to be a targeted attack - they didn't attack you because you were specifically you. More likely to be a crime of opportunity.
They're not coming back. For them, the risk is too great - you may have seen them before, you may be on your guard now - and the rewards are low, since they already grabbed your easily grabbable stuff. You have nothing to fear from those guys.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:33 PM on October 6, 2011
Response by poster: Thank you all for your advice. I'm doing much better after I attended a few counseling sessions.
In addition to the advice (being aware of my surroundings, carrying less and hiding valuables, etc.), I've found being proactive in improving my building's security very helpful. I organized a tenant meeting and I'll be sending a letter to my landlord to push for changes that were suggested. It still sucks that I got robbed, but at least it won't have happened in vain.
To anyone reading, please be alert at all times when you're in public. You don't want to be paranoid, but your personal safety should be on your mind.
Thanks again everyone.
posted by Sakura3210 at 11:11 AM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
In addition to the advice (being aware of my surroundings, carrying less and hiding valuables, etc.), I've found being proactive in improving my building's security very helpful. I organized a tenant meeting and I'll be sending a letter to my landlord to push for changes that were suggested. It still sucks that I got robbed, but at least it won't have happened in vain.
To anyone reading, please be alert at all times when you're in public. You don't want to be paranoid, but your personal safety should be on your mind.
Thanks again everyone.
posted by Sakura3210 at 11:11 AM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Sign up for a self-defense class. This will teach you some things to do to physically defend yourself, as well as what to say. It will give you the tools to feel confident that you won't be a victim again.
posted by DoubleLune at 6:44 PM on October 5, 2011