What kind of flowers for second date?

September 25, 2011 4:31 PM

First meeting (date?) was drinks but went awesome. If I'm picking her up for a dinner date and I feel a flower or 3 are in order (I have a good gut feeling about this) -- what kind of flowers? She knows I like her, I want to reinforce that.
posted by simongsmith to Human Relations (42 answers total)

I got some purple roses once that were very nice. I would suggest getting whatever looks nice at the flower store, and I recommend a full bouquet over 1 or 3.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:33 PM on September 25, 2011

I like the 1-3 flower idea....If you are picking her up at her house....a larger grouping would be ok but if you are meeting her out, I think a single, smallish flower with a pretty thin ribbon around the stem is a lovely gesture that would be easy to deal with on a date. As to kind, whatever looks fresh, a soft color and softly scented. Good luck!! Great idea!!
posted by pearlybob at 4:35 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ok, I see that you are picking her up, missed that. Go with something larger...again, whatever looks good, smells good but not too loud, and something that you think she would like. Mr. Pearlybob was in the dog-house and got me a lovely, small arrangement in a square vase. Lovely!!
posted by pearlybob at 4:38 PM on September 25, 2011

Maybe it's just me, but while I'd be really flattered by the flowers, I might be really flustered to receive them at the beginning of a date (having to carry around flowers all night can be kind of stressful, and even if you're meeting her at home, she has to find a vase and put them in water and such). Maybe have some roses delivered either the morning after the date or, if you're feeling really bold, the day of?

Except for carnations (which scream cheap) and white lilies (funeral flowers), any kind of flower would be nice, though.
posted by oinopaponton at 4:38 PM on September 25, 2011 [2 favorites]

ooooh....Love the idea of sending them the day of the date!! Early as possible....and again, nothing huge. Just a "happy" that she can enjoy and get all twitter-pated about!!
posted by pearlybob at 4:42 PM on September 25, 2011 [2 favorites]

I think roses are too loaded. I say something pretty like daiseys, especially if you happen to know her favorite color(s).
posted by TheNewWazoo at 4:45 PM on September 25, 2011 [9 favorites]

I agree with thepinksuperhero, a full bouquet would be lovely, especially since you are picking her up and she can put them in water at her home. Tulips or gerbera daisies are both safe (in the sense that they aren't too unusual or alienating) and lovely flowers, without being quite as predictable as roses.
posted by heyheylanagirl at 4:45 PM on September 25, 2011

Another vote for sending a few flowers the day of the date, if possible. Roses are nice, if trite and cliche - but if you are sending flowers, a local florist can give you great ideas!
posted by firei at 4:45 PM on September 25, 2011

Just not red roses. And not carnations. I would think yellow or a light pink would be lovely. Go with her personality.
posted by quodlibet at 4:45 PM on September 25, 2011

I would stay away from roses, especially red roses, on a second date. Roses are hit and miss; some people love them, but they can also come off as cliche or trying too hard.

I think you are on the right track with a casual or quirky small arrangement or single stems. Go with something seasonal and fun. Sunflowers or dahlias are lush and beautiful, and they are in season right now.
posted by folara at 4:45 PM on September 25, 2011

Talk to the florist about what they have that's especially nice (and fresh) that they have in stock. My recommendation is always just the blooms, even if just a handful of them, on their own, with no ferns/baby's breath/other fillers. And I'd say no roses for this early in the relationship, though your (and her) preferences may vary.

(on preview, see above)
posted by argonauta at 4:46 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

For what it's worth, carnations are my absolute favorite flower, so pooh-pooing them is silly. :P

I think roses are cheesy. Go with a bright bouquet of daisies or sunflowers. Something autumn-inspired.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 4:51 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yeah, on second thought, red roses (especially a full bouquet) could be a bit much. I'm a big fan of peonies and chrysanthemums, personally.
posted by oinopaponton at 4:51 PM on September 25, 2011

YMMV, but I like flowers in unusual colors or shapes, stuff like orange lilies or potted pansies, something bright and friendly, not femmy. Agreed that if it's a situation where she can put them in water right away (which it sounds like it is) a bouquet is better (weirdly, less intense message) than 1-3 of a single type of flower.
posted by ifjuly at 4:59 PM on September 25, 2011

I love roses, but they might be Too Much. Tulips and Gerber Daisies are both ideal choices -- they're not cheap, prom-y, or funereal, they're bright and cheery and charming.

Since you're picking her up, I'd get a full dozen or so. I personally find the One Flower kind of irritatingly twee. And personally, since it's sometimes kind of awkward at the Moment of Pick-up, I actually would LOVE to be given flowers, since in addition to being really a nice gesture, it gives me something to do.

I think you sound like an awesome date!
posted by Countess Sandwich at 5:00 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

What about a flower she can clip in her hair. Adorably shmoopy, and logistics are solved.
posted by PercussivePaul at 5:00 PM on September 25, 2011 [2 favorites]

I am going to go against the grain here and be careful about the bouquet. Unless you are 100% sure that she is as much about you as you are about her, bringing the full-on bouquet could be taken as a bit much. I had a guy do that to me and it was totally weird carrying the bouquet around and getting that kind of gesture that early in. We didn't have another date.
posted by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on September 25, 2011

1. I agree, no roses.

2. Send flowers? Unless you are both very wealthy and from social backgrounds where this is, like, a perfectly ordinary and innocuous thing to do, then no. I would be slightly weirded out by someone who sent flowers (i.e. spent A SHIT TON of money) to my home or workplace on the day of our second date.

3. I think the sentiment is fine, though. I'd give either 3-5 gerbera daisies - or something else that is usually sold by the stem, like maybe sunflowers or peonies - or a simple bouquet of something less fancy like sweet william*, daffodils, or regular daisies.

4. Tulips are nice. Especially in a really eye-catching color.

*If you think she's One Of Those Girls who was into the royal wedding and such earlier this year, I would lay off the sweet william - it was in Kate Middleton's bridal bouquet and thus carries a certain significance lately for the sorts of women who care about what kind of flowers were in Kate Middleton's bouquet. Which is a damn shame, because sweet william are almost a universally perfect flower for this sort of occasion.
posted by Sara C. at 5:03 PM on September 25, 2011 [2 favorites]

What a sweet idea! I do think even a full bouquet at this point is too loaded -- I'd be weirded out. And no roses. 1-3 gerbera daisies in bright colors, tied with a pretty ribbon, is just the thing. Or whatever else looks super healthy and fresh at the florist.
posted by mochapickle at 5:09 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

I think giving her a 1 - 3 flowers while on the date is fine. I

've seen plenty of dates where the girl is walking around with a rose or other flowers in hand, and it's sweet to think "oh, how nice, her date brought her flowers!" Maybe it's stressful, but I think it's fun stress. Part of the fun of being given flowers is having other people notice you've been given flowers - she knows you like her, let her enjoy the feeling of perfect strangers knowing you like her too!

On another date or a few dates later you can have something sent to her house, something bigger and more lasting that she can enjoy in her home.
posted by Locochona at 5:22 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

I work for a florist. What about a stem of stargazer lily? Beautiful and fragrant ...
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:32 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh and at least around here tulips are out of season.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:34 PM on September 25, 2011

Oh man, I got first date flowers once and it was so awesome.

Full bouquet. Roses. They were yellow.

Here's my advice on flower bringing: stand far enough back from the door that it is clear you don't need to come in while she gets them into some water. Better still, bring them in a vase so she doesn't have to scramble and rush and, uh, plunk them into a bucket because her three vases are under the sink and behind 15 cleaning products. Just saying.

I also think the idea of sending them for delivery before is ok. But make sure they'll arrive early enough. It would really freak me out to have the flower delivery person show up an hour before my date because I would think that my date was early. And I would not be ready. So I would have a heart attack. If you have her work information, send them to her desk with a not at all lascivious note. Unless she works at a place where getting flowers would be inconvenient or weird.
posted by bilabial at 5:49 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

I came here to say please no stargazers. They're a love-it-or-hate-it thing. The smell makes me alternately gag and sneeze. I have to castrate them to keep them in the house, which is not symbolism you want.

I love dahlias and they're in season now and come in a variety of shapes and colors.
posted by momus_window at 5:50 PM on September 25, 2011

Nthing bringing them if you're meeting at her place with ample time to put them in H2O before you go out.
posted by brujita at 5:53 PM on September 25, 2011

Do you know if she likes flowers?
posted by canine epigram at 6:00 PM on September 25, 2011 [5 favorites]

Bouquets are meaningless. Roses too loaded, daisies and sunflowers too cheerful, as is anything yellow. Most lilies, anything white, really, and birds of paradise too sexual. I'd go with irises. Tiger lilies as a second choice.
posted by Morrigan at 6:03 PM on September 25, 2011

Ranunculus' would knock my socks off! Way to put your feelings out there!
posted by JacksonandFinch at 6:05 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm not normally a flower kinda lady. I think they are wasteful. I also think they are sad when they die. They're just not my thing, etc. etc.

However, I'd be kind of thrilled if I went on a date and the dude brought a sweet little bouquet of flowers. I don't know why, but romance and grand gestures always top practicality for me. Of course, I would probably tell you (the date dude) eventually about my feelings about flowers. Just not on that date night.

How much do you know about this woman? Take your knowledge of this woman and her personality to the florist and they'll help you out. Just be clear about what you DON'T want (i.e. a dozen roses, white lilies, etc.) and you'll be golden. And definitely get a vase to go!
posted by two lights above the sea at 6:09 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm disagreeing with those above saying to get a full bouquet. If a fellow brought me one or two flowers, I would think it was sweet and that he was trying to get points in a good way by doing something thoughtful. If it was a big bouquet I would be put off by the money spent and the grand gesturey kind of feel from someone who doesn't even know me yet. I would think you were trying to get points in a bad way by being flashy and "smooth". So, heads up, a single flower and an arrangement can make totally different impressions.
posted by troublewithwolves at 6:12 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Your idea is great. A few gerbera daisies or dahlias would be fun and sweet.

You could even potentially bring them in a mason jar (like a spaghetti sauce jar, washed, with the label removed) if you want to minimize the time involved in putting them away before leaving.
posted by salvia at 6:20 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Mm, yes. A few colorful daisies in a mason jar and I would swoon.
posted by ChuraChura at 6:33 PM on September 25, 2011 [4 favorites]

Gerbera daisies in a mason jar or short vase sounds good to me too. Something like this arrangement, maybe in fall colors. If you have them in a small amount of water already, she won't need to deal with finding a vase when you pick her up. She can just put down the flowers and enjoy them when she gets home later that night. Low-key and no-hassle, but beautiful!
posted by belau at 7:16 PM on September 25, 2011

I recently saw this on the Hairpin:

The Modern Meanings of Flowers

and then they also did this

A Rebuttal To the Modern Meanings of Flowers

and therefore, and speaking as a woman who knows a thing or few about flowers and has reviewed the above links for accuracy, I think all roads lead to peonies. Which are not currently in season in most of the US so good luck, and nobody would think less of you for sticking with only a few stems.
posted by padraigin at 7:21 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Or you could make her a single origami rose, if that's either of your inclination. Giving someone things that slowly die and lose their browning drying parts can be both a beautiful and strange gesture.
posted by DisreputableDog at 10:31 PM on September 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is just a stock photo shot, but something like this in feeling seems perfect: lovely, but light, bright and casual... they don't have a "grand gesture" feeling or show-off vibe at all.

If you like the look, you could show the image to a florist and ask for something with that kind of feeling, stressing that you like the simplicity/subtlety.

My personal favorites, though, are anemones, which I feel are low-key and simple, yet romantic, wild and gorgeous. (One site I checked says they are in season, but I don't know how commonly available they are. I can usually find them where I am. )
posted by taz at 1:03 AM on September 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

I would go for some cheery open flowers. Ranunculus are gorgeous, but perhaps a little big and heavy. Daisies are nice and sunny, and sweet pea (which I think is out of season) is another good unpretentious flower. I am a personal fan of Dahlias, but with that you'd probably need only one!

Sometimes you can find florists which can prepare very small bouquets that can be held easily in one hand (about 6" across perhaps), and I think one of those could be good, especially if it is made with some seasonal wildflower-type flowers.
posted by that girl at 3:42 AM on September 26, 2011

How about a single sunflower? Pretty, fun, colorful and not too stressful to carry.
posted by floweredfish at 7:09 AM on September 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Thank you, everyone! This was my first question and I'm overwhelmed at how helpful y'all are!
posted by simongsmith at 8:41 AM on September 26, 2011

Roses are tacky and take no thought, IMO. Don't like 'em at all. I would be MUCH more thrilled to receive anything other than a rose.

(Except, perhaps, carnations as they are the Comic Sans of flowers).
posted by Windigo at 12:16 PM on September 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

Chiming in late but wanted to say: does she have cats? Because some flowers, lilies especially, are extremely poisonous to cats. If someone brought me a bouquet, I'd have to stash it in a cupboard where my curious, chews-on-everything cat couldn't get to it, and unless I could find a way to move it to my office, I'd probably have to just toss it when the fellow wasn't looking.

If she has cats, do a little research on non-toxic flowers. Or you could do what a sweet guy I'm dating did: on our first date, he brought me a nice cat toy. He has cats himself, and we'd been gushing about our cats in email, so it was the perfect gesture. Totally melted my heart more than flowers would have.
posted by quirkbot at 3:51 PM on September 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Just wanted to tell everyone THANK YOU. I ended up going into my local florist a few hours before the date, and I looked for the brightest flowers in the best condition. The red (and some red-yellow) dahlias were the winners. I picked out the nicest 5 and when I got home I trimmed off the extraneous limbs with buds, shortened them to about 12" long, and picked 2 red and one red-yellow and kept them in water until I arrived at my date's apartment. I put them on the passenger-side dashboard.

I ended up walking her to my car and when I opened the door for her she was surprised and happy and it was a great way to start the date. The rest of the date went VERY well. My date (the woman) is an awesome person and that of course was what made the night great, but it didn't hurt that the French restaurant we went to happened to have live jazz and great food. If you're in the DC area I highly recommend Bistrot Lepic's upstairs wine bar!

Thank you, thank you, everyone.
posted by simongsmith at 9:27 PM on September 30, 2011 [1 favorite]