how to respond to'what do you think of my house?'
September 4, 2011 11:56 AM Subscribe
Help me with a simple, polite, but to the point response.
posted by ebesan to human relations (33 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
This happens to me often enough to be a problem. I'm sure variations occur in many other professions. I am an Architect;. so I visit someone's house, they ask me what I do, or I am introduced, and I can hear it coming....'what do you think of this room? what would you do with this kitchen?.......' Cringe. I've learned to look quickly for something to praise, and switch the subject fast. I hate this. To do justice there needs to be a serious discussion of the situation, determine a budget, examine the area, ask alot of questions, maybe measure, take photos.....dig in and look at all angles. There are several approaches to this; 1. a stranger could be a potential client, and I need the work. A short conversation could be followed by, call me on Mo. But family or friends is harder. There are several common reactions. One is silence, even defensiveness, and my careful diplomacy has failed. The question was not sincere, or was asked out of an insecurity. Or, sometimes, after really trying to help, asking questions, allowing that there could be several fixes, but not knowing the person or their lifestyle well, I know they feel let down. No quick answer from me; in fact, I often have complicated things. Or I seem stupid, not grasping their dilemma, and not coming up with a quick answer.
I love the REAL work, the investigation and thoughtfulness and problem-solving. That's a job. THIS is usually disappointing.