she was a he and doesn't know I know
August 29, 2011 7:33 AM Subscribe
Ever since that found-on-facebook date showed up on my doorstep I've had the same feeling : that person has not lived in that female body all her life. That hunch has been confirmed That person doesn't know I know - now what ?
posted by anonymous to human relations (41 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
What do I do with this relationship ? Besides that elephant in the room, the relationship is at the going-well-but-not-madly-romantically-in-love stage.
I fully understand that "Oh... by the way I used to be a man..." is not the greatest pick-up line.
My lack of experience in dating a female born in a male body make me feel lost. When/how should I bring the subject if it's a good idea to bring the subject at all ?
I think that not knowing for sure maintained the relationship alvive for me. Not that I know without a doubt I'm nearly sure this relationship has no long-term future.
Should I break up and explain that I've found out ? Should I give the gift of "you fooled me" to that person ? Should I tell the truth and seek freedom ?
Are there transgender persons on MeFi that could advise me on how they handle the dating/relationship thing in their new bodies/new identities ?
In short : I care too much about that person to hurt her but not enough to invest in a romantic relationship.