Why don't some college guys ever date?
August 28, 2011 4:04 PM Subscribe
What are some reasons a college guy who has never dated before won't ask out someone he likes?
posted by lfergie401 to Human Relations (31 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I admit, my questions are a bit silly, but I’m very inexperienced with relationships, despite being in my mid-twenties (female), and I figured you all could give me some insight into things. :) Everything I read on the internet relationship-wise, it seems, is about two types of guys: either the shy guy who is basically completely socially inept and has trouble even just talking to women, or the bolder guy (and/or player) who will definitely make a move if he is at all interested. My question concerns the guy in-between these two: Someone who is perhaps more on the introverted side, but can hold his own in a conversation with women or whomever. More specifically I am wondering about these guys who, despite also being easy-going, friendly, decent-looking, funny, etc., have never dated anyone ever. My questions, then, are the following:
1. What are some reasons a guy (especially one in college) won’t ask someone out, even if he likes her.
2. In general, at what point in their lives do these inexperienced guys who don’t date in college actually start a relationship?
3. Being quite shy myself, what can I do to show these guys I’m interested without embarrassing myself or scaring them away?
Before I further explain these questions, I just want to add that I realize reasons and timing can be widely varied, depending on circumstances. And the only way I can get the answer from any particular guy I’m wondering about is by asking him. I’m just too shy to do so. :( So I’d like to read what everyone has to say of course, but I’m especially interested hearing from guys who were in similar situations – waiting until after college to date.
I ask these questions because I’ve noticed that I keep getting crushes on these guys in college who are just as inexperienced as me. We are usually friends, some have been closer than others, and sometimes I wonder if he would like to be more than friends, but knowing how bad I am at reading signals, I am too shy to pursue anything. Plus knowing that he has never asked anyone out before and possibly just isn’t sure how (?), nothing ever happens anyway. Of course, they may very well just not be interested in anything more than being friends with me, which is probably often the case, but never with anyone? So what are some reasons for this, let’s say besides being too busy with school or not liking anyone. Do you have any ideas/ what have your experiences been? Thanks for any input!!