Stupidity or self esteem?
August 25, 2011 10:49 AM Subscribe
He says it's poor memory and stupidity. I say it's low self esteem and insecurity. How to tell?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (20 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
My partner regularly has what I call "memory melt downs." Things he wants to learn for fun (for example, how to play a song), or is told to learn for work (for example, how to use a new piece of equipment), upset him deeply. He claims he's too slow, he's stupid, he can't remember things, he only has a limited capacity, he struggles to hold onto what he's got.... I say he's got a poor attitude, he doesn't have enough faith in himself, isn't trying hard enough. He claims I don't understand that some people barely make it through life, that not everyone is as capable as I am, that my positivity is delusional and dangerous, the equivalent of thinking he can leap off a cliff and fly.
He's struggled with depression, though to my knowledge it's never been officially diagnosed. He's intensely critical, passionate and downright arrogant about the things he's good at (and knows he's good at).
He seems to want my help but neither of us know how I can actually be helpful. No matter how I respond to his anxiety, the result is negative. I'm desperately seeking suggestions, obviously for both of our privacy I won't be in this thread. Please email firstname.lastname@example.org if you have advice, experience or ideas.... and thank you.