Jobs for the unconfident
July 31, 2011 3:29 PM Subscribe
What type of jobs/workplaces are best for people without a naturally abundant supply of confidence?
Hello. I grew up in a poor, nonworking, uncommunicative family. Soon I will graduate with a Master's degree and throw myself into the workforce. Huzzah.
I've had several internships before, but I am not feeling very successful in my current role at a tiny (< 15 person) consulting firm. The work seems like pretty normal stuff, but I've also had to plod my way through to figure out how I work and how I can do better (no mentorship or training here). Since I have struggled with this, I've received a negative performance review which has crushed my confidence further.
When coming up with a way to solve a problem, I can spend much time researching it. I can also explore many different sources, and slice and dice the data in what feels like a billion ways. I encounter a lot of roadblocks, detours, negatives. But, I always stumble at the conclusion - I've already spent what apparently is considered way too long to only be able to conclude "well, maybe?". I have trouble generating a confident recommendation, usually because I feel I haven't done enough research/don't know enough background information/having trouble mashing it altogether to create something "they" want to hear.
Yeah, that doesn't seem to fly in the consulting world. I'd be okay with getting some data, being told vaguely to "think about it", and then coming back with ideas - but not when there are many other projects to think about, not when I don't have a grasp on how to efficiently go about the task (I always feel too slow), and not when I'm supposed to conjure up a Finding before I've even had adequate time to fully explore the Problem. In other words, I conclude that working in a tiny consulting firm is not the best for me at this point in my life - maybe after a few decades in the field, with more knowledge and more experience.
I'm sorry to vent so long but I hope the above gives some insight into my personality and the struggles I carry with me, which I am sure no employer would ever care about.
My question is, what types of jobs ARE helpful for a young, insecure, nervous-but-wanting-to-impress, smart person at the beginning of her career? Helpful as in, will build rather than crush confidence, will generate knowledge rather than rush results. Are there certain places that are better at instilling confidence in their workers than others? I kind of miss the days when they'd just train you, and you'd just do it. I guess what I am asking for is where am I more likely to encounter active guidance? For example, are government agencies good for that? How about think tanks? Engineering firms? Are larger consulting groups better than smaller ones?
If you've been in my position and have a story about how your job helped you, and/or advice on what to look for in a job such that I can get that help, it would be much appreciated!
Hello. I grew up in a poor, nonworking, uncommunicative family. Soon I will graduate with a Master's degree and throw myself into the workforce. Huzzah.
I've had several internships before, but I am not feeling very successful in my current role at a tiny (< 15 person) consulting firm. The work seems like pretty normal stuff, but I've also had to plod my way through to figure out how I work and how I can do better (no mentorship or training here). Since I have struggled with this, I've received a negative performance review which has crushed my confidence further.
When coming up with a way to solve a problem, I can spend much time researching it. I can also explore many different sources, and slice and dice the data in what feels like a billion ways. I encounter a lot of roadblocks, detours, negatives. But, I always stumble at the conclusion - I've already spent what apparently is considered way too long to only be able to conclude "well, maybe?". I have trouble generating a confident recommendation, usually because I feel I haven't done enough research/don't know enough background information/having trouble mashing it altogether to create something "they" want to hear.
Yeah, that doesn't seem to fly in the consulting world. I'd be okay with getting some data, being told vaguely to "think about it", and then coming back with ideas - but not when there are many other projects to think about, not when I don't have a grasp on how to efficiently go about the task (I always feel too slow), and not when I'm supposed to conjure up a Finding before I've even had adequate time to fully explore the Problem. In other words, I conclude that working in a tiny consulting firm is not the best for me at this point in my life - maybe after a few decades in the field, with more knowledge and more experience.
I'm sorry to vent so long but I hope the above gives some insight into my personality and the struggles I carry with me, which I am sure no employer would ever care about.
My question is, what types of jobs ARE helpful for a young, insecure, nervous-but-wanting-to-impress, smart person at the beginning of her career? Helpful as in, will build rather than crush confidence, will generate knowledge rather than rush results. Are there certain places that are better at instilling confidence in their workers than others? I kind of miss the days when they'd just train you, and you'd just do it. I guess what I am asking for is where am I more likely to encounter active guidance? For example, are government agencies good for that? How about think tanks? Engineering firms? Are larger consulting groups better than smaller ones?
If you've been in my position and have a story about how your job helped you, and/or advice on what to look for in a job such that I can get that help, it would be much appreciated!
What was your Masters in?
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 4:03 PM on July 31, 2011
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 4:03 PM on July 31, 2011
Response by poster: I refrained from mentioning which fields I'm in because I want the question to be useful to all.. but my background will ultimately include architecture, urban planning, with some emphases in transportation, energy, and design.
posted by The Biggest Dreamer at 4:09 PM on July 31, 2011
posted by The Biggest Dreamer at 4:09 PM on July 31, 2011
I had very little confidence when I first started working, and if I had to do it over again, I'd choose something where there was a lot of training and a pretty defined career path within the company. I feel like the people who had this were better equipped for confidence toward midcareer.
posted by sweetkid at 4:12 PM on July 31, 2011
posted by sweetkid at 4:12 PM on July 31, 2011
The short answer is "develop confidence". Your family of origin doesn't really matter--there are shy, bookish types whose parents are the life and soul of the country club casino night and vice versa. You need a mentor in your field. Assuming the link in your profile is accurate, you're getting a degree from a prestigious school--surely your professors must have some industry contacts that they will share. Or try the placement office, career counseling, whatever it's called. Can you make contact with alums working in your field?
Pick up a copy of Miss Manners, take full advantage of dept. stores' personal shopping services when looking for interview outfits, and think about all those other avenues to confidence and poise--Toastmasters, professional coaching, etc.
It's a jungle out there, but you can be the savvy kitty without having to be the tiger with the bloody jaws. Not many companies are going to groom you for stardom if they don't see a twinkle. Inhouse training only works once you're inhouse, and you need to get in the door.
posted by Ideefixe at 7:49 PM on July 31, 2011
Pick up a copy of Miss Manners, take full advantage of dept. stores' personal shopping services when looking for interview outfits, and think about all those other avenues to confidence and poise--Toastmasters, professional coaching, etc.
It's a jungle out there, but you can be the savvy kitty without having to be the tiger with the bloody jaws. Not many companies are going to groom you for stardom if they don't see a twinkle. Inhouse training only works once you're inhouse, and you need to get in the door.
posted by Ideefixe at 7:49 PM on July 31, 2011
I think most workplaces are a good deal easier for someone who's confident, sadly enough. Once you get past very entry-level jobs, most industries expect you to become more self-directed, and picking a direction for yourself requires you to believe in yourself. I'm struggling with the same trouble as you, and I've concluded that basically all you can do is pretend to be confident whenever you get the opportunity. Your problem is not necessarily all with your actual lack of confidence, it's also that you don't seem confident.
When someone asks you if something's possible, think "Er, I hope so" and say "Yup" and when someone asks you how long it will take, think "Between 6 weeks and 100 years" and say "Probably by EOQ" (or in a year if you're pretty sure it's impossible). A side benefit of this is that it gives you a sort of due date so if you find yourself going down rabbit holes, you can say to yourself "Well, I would really like to spend 2 months on this, but I told my manager it'd be all set next week, so I guess I won't do it right now."
This was bitter medicine for me to swallow at first because I am very truthful, but my first manager was a wonderful person who gave it to me straight that I was getting eaten alive in terms of my visibility because I wouldn't commit to estimates or statements of technical feasibility (I write software). So I learned to basically tell him (and the managers who have come after him) that everything was possible and everything was doable in a few months. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong, but the point is that everyone I work with seems to actually believe that about their projects whether it's true or not.
Also: google "impostor syndrome". Get used to the fact that you may never actually feel confident. I know women who have tenured jobs in top academic departments or are VPs at companies you've heard of, who are sure they lucked into their promotions and accolades and they'll someday be found out as the frauds they are. They don't seem like insecure people, but many of them are.
posted by troublesome at 8:05 PM on July 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
When someone asks you if something's possible, think "Er, I hope so" and say "Yup" and when someone asks you how long it will take, think "Between 6 weeks and 100 years" and say "Probably by EOQ" (or in a year if you're pretty sure it's impossible). A side benefit of this is that it gives you a sort of due date so if you find yourself going down rabbit holes, you can say to yourself "Well, I would really like to spend 2 months on this, but I told my manager it'd be all set next week, so I guess I won't do it right now."
This was bitter medicine for me to swallow at first because I am very truthful, but my first manager was a wonderful person who gave it to me straight that I was getting eaten alive in terms of my visibility because I wouldn't commit to estimates or statements of technical feasibility (I write software). So I learned to basically tell him (and the managers who have come after him) that everything was possible and everything was doable in a few months. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong, but the point is that everyone I work with seems to actually believe that about their projects whether it's true or not.
Also: google "impostor syndrome". Get used to the fact that you may never actually feel confident. I know women who have tenured jobs in top academic departments or are VPs at companies you've heard of, who are sure they lucked into their promotions and accolades and they'll someday be found out as the frauds they are. They don't seem like insecure people, but many of them are.
posted by troublesome at 8:05 PM on July 31, 2011 [2 favorites]
Whoa, deja vu. I literally just posted a response for someone with a personality type I'm guessing is the same as or pretty similar to yours. All I could think when I read your post as ENTP. As a Certified Internet Stranger who has no idea if this is accurate, but here's a link to what I just posted to them.
At the very least, take the personality assessment (first link) and check out the pages that relate to personal growth and work. I really think that'll help you understand that what you're describing of how you work is not WRONG, it's just a different way of working based on personality. I find it comforting to know that my eccentricities that others don't get are usually personality based.
posted by guster4lovers at 12:09 PM on August 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
At the very least, take the personality assessment (first link) and check out the pages that relate to personal growth and work. I really think that'll help you understand that what you're describing of how you work is not WRONG, it's just a different way of working based on personality. I find it comforting to know that my eccentricities that others don't get are usually personality based.
posted by guster4lovers at 12:09 PM on August 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by michaelh at 3:39 PM on July 31, 2011