I hate my roommate's boyfriend. Help!
July 29, 2011 8:52 AM Subscribe
I really, really dislike my roommate/friend's boyfriend. How do I deal with him?
posted by spectacularicity to human relations (55 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I have a three roommates, and we're all very close friends. We're in our early twenties. A few months ago, one, "Emily", started dating a new guy- "Chester." Chester is, well, a jerk. He is loud, crass, and frequently makes jokes at others' expense. He seems to have decided that certain areas of my life are ripe for joking about - which means that I've heard several comments from him, in large groups or around other friends, that imply he thinks I'm a drunk slut. Other friends back me up on this, confirming that they don't like him either, and that he is in general ruder to me than others. Referring to someone as a drunk slut in my friend group is not something we do - we are sarcastic and jokey, but not like this.
So far, my response has been to basically ignore him. I give him a cold stare when he makes comments like this to me, and start talking to someone else. Emily either hasn't noticed how he treats me, or maybe she thinks that this is just playful teasing on his part. I said something to Emily about Chester a week ago, when she and I were both relatively drunk. Her response was non-committal, saying that she cared about both of us. She sort of said that she would talk to him about how he treats me, but she didn't seem super concerned or upset. (In general, my relationship with Emily is quite strong.)
How do I deal with Chester? He is frequently over my apartment with Emily. I'm at the point where just the sound of his voice sets me off, and I can hardly stand to be in the same room as he is. At the same time, Emily will surely notice (and be hurt) if I simply ignore him all the time.