Advice on how to make some actual friends here?
July 20, 2011 9:06 PM Subscribe
Despite my efforts (meetups, work), I don't really have a reliable circle of friends here. Any advice for meeting people?
posted by anonymous to society & culture (21 answers total) 53 users marked this as a favorite
Admittedly I'm a bit embarrassed to be writing this, but I feel like I have to ask the question, so there you go.
I currently live with my girlfriend here in New York. We've got a pretty good life, but the one thing we're really missing is a good circle of friends. When we graduated from college most of our friends dispersed around the US. Since then we've met a few people, but I wouldn't really call them good friends. We've tried going to a few meetups, but nothing's really panned out from that either. We're on the quieter side - mildly nerdy (but not socially inept in the least), but we don't really go out and party all hours of the night or anything like that.
I just don't get it. Are we doing something wrong? Is it hard to actually make some real friends here in NYC? I'd like to point out that I'm talking about actual friendships and not just drinking buddies or something like that.
Related to this is that I've never really had a group of male friends. I'm a pretty friendly guy, but for whatever reason I've just never had a circle of male friends to, I don't know, hang out with. I started a new position in the past few months and I'm still getting acquainted with my coworkers, but they all seem fairly independent so I don't really see that turning into much of anything outside of work.
Anyway, I don't really know what to do. Part of me just feels like everyone else has their little circles of friends, and here I am on the outside, and I feel like a failure as a human being or something. Does anyone have any advice for me?
(Sidenote - it's also super lame to post on the Internet and admit that you don't really have friends, hence the anonymity. firstname.lastname@example.org if you want to contact me, I guess.)