My ex is dating my boss. How do I get over it?
July 18, 2011 7:33 PM Subscribe
I dated someone I work with. Now she's dating my boss. I would love some tips on how to get over this without quitting.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (16 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I dated someone who works at the same 50-person company as me (though doesn't work with me directly). The relationship went on for about a year and a half. She broke up with me and I took it hard, but made a great efforts not to show it. In my denial, we continued to hang out "as friends" about as much as we ever had. Often, this included sleeping over and cuddling. After many months, I realized that she was dating my boss. I asked her if it was true and she said yes.
Again, publicly, I kept it cool. But privately, it was all I could think about. I fumed. I was jealous. I was embarrassed. I felt like I wasn't good enough, but he was. I felt like neither of them respected me.
About 6 months have passed. We don't hang out anymore. I don't even think about whole thing very much -- except when I see them together. Then, it all comes rushing back. And since we work together, I see them together a lot.
I love this job. I don't want to leave. But I feel like this is a scab that I pick off every day.
Normally, the advice is to get some distance. What do you do when you can't get that distance? How do I convince my gut of what I know in my mind -- that this isn't about me, that I'm dating other people, and that it was probably for the best?