How can I deal with my frustrations about my Facebook profile in a productive way?
posted by dubious_dude to Society & Culture (67 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
First of all, I want to preface that I realize this may come across as somewhat childish... and I do understand that this is just Facebook, but I do need your ideas/input because this is really driving me nuts. I am trying to articulate my thoughts on this.
Background information: I'm 25, I have approximately 480 friends on Facebook (I recently did a friends list sweep), and I attend a college.
What's happening is, simply put, I feel ignored on Facebook. I post pictures, profile updates with what's happening with me and my place in the world, and even PicNik my pictures from time to time. I literally get zero to maybe five, if that, comments/likes for the status updates/pictures that I do post. I do have a "core" group of followers, maybe 5-10 people, mostly family members, family friends who I knew from a long time ago, and/or old teachers from high school, who will comment/like my status and pictures. Interestingly, my college friends very seldom comment/like my Facebook updates.
I hate to say this, but it's really getting on my nerves. If the same "core" group of people continued to like/comment on my status and photos, ALONG with the 470 or so other friends I had, then it wouldn't be a problem - it's a question of balance. It's gotten to the point where I literally see the same person in the notifications bubble and grit my teeth in annoyance. I think, why can't it be someone else for once? I look at my other friends' and see that their photos get 20-30 likes, most of them from my other friends, many comments, and I feel jealous and wish I could get that kind of attention and be "popular." I know, I know - very middle school of me. That's how bad it is right now. I hate feeling this way, and the resentment I have, because I honestly have nothing against those "core" people at all - they're good people, but it's just getting old and I wonder what I'm doing wrong on Facebook to not be noticed by anyone else other than that "core" group. It's hard seeing my "empty" Facebook and seeing most of my friends' Facebooks being infused with likes/comments.
One point I want to clarify: I do not expect that EVERY picture/status update/whatever will be infused with comments/likes... but in my case, it's NEVER that way.
Recently, I tried PicNiking my pictures, as mentioned, and adding "cool" messages to the pictures, to try and get people to notice my page more. Literally no success. To add insult to injury, when I added pictures of my friends and me, they did not even bother to comment/like the pictures, but other tagged pictures of them (from their friends) they did like/comment. I even texted a friend of mine to check out the PicNiked picture of us, and she told me through text that she loved the picture. She did not like/comment on it, though, and then tonight she liked/commented on another friend's picture. It feels like my Facebook has cooties or something. Literally.
Again, I know I probably sound whiny (and I don't 'muse' like this on Facebook, trust me!), but I just am at the end of my rope, and I need advice and ideas on how to move forward and deal with this in a better way. I can't go on like this, or I will grow to resent my friends, and/or feel worse about myself.
As a side note, I do feel a bit lonely in real life sometimes, but not as bad as on Facebook. I have good conversations with most of the people on my Facebook list in person, and they obviously like me enough to keep me on their friends list.
I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong here. I hope some useful advice/insights can be offered. And, please don't criticize me saying something among the lines of "you're 25, time to grow up and stop dwelling on Facebook!" I hope I didn't seem too defensive there, but I've seen other people be told that... it is what it is right now, and I'm trying to deal with it.