How can I choose the best option for my kid?
June 25, 2011 6:14 AM Subscribe
In the event of our untimely demise, to whom shall we leave the children?
posted by anonymous to human relations (17 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
New baby in the house and my SO and I are struggling to come up with a suitable family or person who we might stipulate in a will guardianship for our child. Of the family options, the maternal grandmother is in her late 60s and on her own. We don't like her politics but she would be a loving caregiver... but it seems cruel to put our kid through loss of parents plus grandparent in possibly short order.
Maternal uncles are both irresponsible in different ways and single.
Paternal parents have potential but the grandmother on that side is in very poor health and prone to rages. Paternal sister and her family (husband, two kids) are the most obvious choice. We know that she and her family would love our child and care well for her but we have misgivings. We think his family is a bunch of lunatics (he's the cream of the crop) and they have deep religious convictions counter to ours and she likes a very "traditional" relationship where girls are the weaker sex and need to be taken care of (despite the fact that she is the smarter and more capable person in their two-some). They both smoke and he appears to be developing an alcohol (and maybe pot) problem. I just cannot imagine my daughter growing up in that household.
So, that leaves us with friends. And I wish I could say we were so close with another couple that there was an obvious choice out there but there's not.
Do you have a will that stipulated guardianship? If it was difficult to choose, how did you choose? Are you the guardian for a friend's kids -- do you take that thought seriously?
Anyone know how likely it is that a friend of ours would be granted guardianship anyway when it is most likely that if we did that, the family would fight for guardianship of our kid?