How do I control my rage?
May 15, 2011 9:01 AM Subscribe
In one week, I've turned into a downright angry and rude and unlikeable person. How can I reverse this?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (27 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
Last weekend I got in a bar fight that resulted in a trip to the ER - totally uncharacteristic of me as I am not and have never been a violent person. As a matter of fact, being the most laid back person in the room was "my thing". But on that particular night someone had pushed me to my limit (physically, intruding on my space and sense of safety) and almost out of instinct I took the first swing. I highly regret taking a swing instead of walking away. I don't like knowing that I've been in a fight, I don't knowing that I hit someone, and I don't like physical violence. Even though all witnesses agree that I was defending myself, that the other guy started it, I still feel guilty since it was me who officially escalated the violence into a full on punching fight.
For some reason though, after being beaten up it was like...I just didn't care about anything or anyone anymore. I've become so much more impulsive in so many ways. If another driver commits what I think is an injustice in traffic, I'm using my horn and flipping the bird and punching my steering wheel when I NEVER so much as use my horn normally. When a friend said he couldn't hang out because he had to hang with his girlfriend I said something completely snide and rude like "gotcha dude, not like you spend every waking fucking second with her so I'll give you your space" and hanging up abruptly. What!? My roommate asking me a favor and me telling him a flat out "nah sorry" without making eye contact and retreating to my room. These are just a few examples but in short, I've been "snapping" at tons of little things all week, at work, at my friends, at my roommates, at strangers. It sucks.
This week I've felt like if something doesn't go my way in the slightest, it's reason for me to snap like I did that night in the fight last weekend. And no one has said anything yet, but god damn do I feel like an asshole. I feel like people are looking at me saying "jesus, no wonder he gets in fights." I feel like people are looking at me and thinking, "Anonymous has some anger issues". Or just "Anonymous is kind of a dick right now."
I don't know what to do. I was in therapy for anxiety for months and months to no avail and when I finally took a break, my anxiety actually went away. I'm thinking about going back but until then - what do you do to control your anger? How can I lighten up and go back to the old me? How can I stop being such a dick?