Reducing panic/phobias before surgery to remove a kidney stone. Snowwwflakes inside.
So. On Friday I went to the health division at work because I thought I was having severe cramps/issues due to my period and basically just wanted something to take the pain away. They did some blood tests and a urine test. They then sent me to the ER because the red blood cells were too high to count.
Turns out the kidney stone that I thought came out
over three weeks ago was actually still inside me.
Went to the urologist today. They want to do surgery (Lithotripsy, I believe he said) on Friday. I thought it wasn't invasive, but apparently they have to shove something up my urethra (I'm female, btw) and put in some stents.
Okay. So. Problem is. I suffer from severe emetophobia.
Here's what's going through my head:
1. If I have the surgery, maybe the general anesthesia will make me sick when I wake up
2. If I keep drinking tons and tons of water, maybe the kidney stone will move much more and THAT will make me sick
3. If I start to get severe pain again and I take these painkillers, maybe THOSE will make me sick.
I should mention that I have yet to be "sick" (knock on wood five thousand times) with the exception of two alcohol-related incidents in which I was barely conscious.
And I have taken many many medications as an adult without side effects. Back then I was on medications for anxiety/panic... so I wasn't such a nutcase like I am now.
But even with this logic, I'm still having panic attacks and obsessing over this.
I've had about 1-3 panic attacks a day since Friday. Anytime I feel somewhat uncomfortable, I fear that I'm going to sick in relation to this stupid kidney stone. I'm not worried about complications with the surgery or the pain but I'm afraid of throwing up.
Basically I need some reassurance that I can get through any/all of this without getting sick. I know that everyone is different and you obviously cannot guess that I will/will not get sick.
Or maybe some ideas on how to handle the panic.
(Currently not insured; I'm on a waiting list to see therapist)