Help! I'm Alive.
February 3, 2011 8:02 AM Subscribe
My mind is a very dark place at the moment. Please help me find the light switch?
posted by anonymous to human relations (22 answers total) 28 users marked this as a favorite
I have a really hard time remaining calm these days. I just _can't_ relax. I worry about every single thing.
I'm trying to change that. I even succeed for an hour or two, but I always go back to worrying about every single thing in my life. I try to focus. Sometimes I try to just relax and 'be myself' and tell myself that it's okay to do whatever I want. Other times, I feel guilty for slipping up and not sticking to plans and resolve (unsuccessfully) to follow a set of rules. Neither of these lasts for very long. Willpower and mental games are unsustainable. And exhausting. I feel like I don't know when to relax and when to push myself. Or even how, for that matter.
I am overly anxious about the way I look, the way I walk, talk, what I eat, what I drink, what I wear, what I should do, what I didn't do, could have done, etc. It's been like that for a few years now. I know it's unrealistic to expect that to change overnight, but it's frustrating when all my attempts to sort things out usually just fall flat. Over and over and over again.
I'm fairly successful at my job. I work freelance, I'm good at what I do. I've put on a little weight over the past few months, but am otherwise in reasonably good health. I don't really have any reason to complain, my life is good in a lot of ways. But every day I wake up feeling like crap—I wake up anxious and tense, and I don't know why, and I don't know what to do.
How do I just... relax? I'm very, very lost. I used to think it was possible to break out of this if I just tried hard enough, but now it seems less likely every day. Any help/advice would be appreciated.