Is she needy or is it me?
January 24, 2011 7:40 AM Subscribe
Am I an a-hole or is she really emotionally needy and insecure?
posted by anonymous to human relations (48 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Hey everyone, I need some relationship advice to determine if I should leave this relationship.
I've been dating a girl for over a ear, and things are/were going really well. I understand she is under alot of stress so I've been cutting her some slack with leaning on me more since we've started dating partially due to the natural progression of a relationship and the stress. However, her clingyness has started to wear on me and I've asked for some space. Nothing major, just not spending every weekend night and day together. Last time I asked her for some space, she started crying so I relented and gave up. We are now spending more time together then ever, and not by my choice. I've tried to tell her how I feel, and every time I ask for something - she starts crying and generally acting insecure. I've never given her a reason to be insecure or for her to distrust me - quite the opposite. Well tonight, I asked her for more space again and it caused a fight. So she is currently in my room crying, curled up in a ball. The sad thing is - I don't actually feel bad about asking anymore, I'm more annoyed that all I've asked for is for a day on the weekend to myself and she is crying over it.
I've been there, listening, giving advice, and holding her when she needed it. All I ask for is a night to myself to sit on my couch without her or to go out with the guys. I've explained that the time we spend together is causing me to take it for advantage, not appreciate it as much, and how much more I would appreciate seeing her with a day in between. None of it matters, she still thinks I'm going to bang another girl or leave her. I've never asked her for anything emotionally more then the normal with the exception of this. But seriously, I've spent entire weekends cuddling with her because that's what she wanted or needed. She isn't bad about needing to talk 24/7 or needing to know where I'm at all the time but needing to be constantly physically in contact is annoying.
Maybe I am an a-hole but is asking for space cause for her curling up in a ball on the floor and crying? Remember, all I've asked for is 1 night to myself a weekend.