living with clutter when it's not yours
January 6, 2011 1:50 PM Subscribe
How do you live with your partner's clutter?
posted by anonymous to human relations (42 answers total) 29 users marked this as a favorite
I recently moved in with my partner, after dating for a little over a year. I moved into her house, where she has lived for several years. There is clutter everywhere. I didn't think it would bother me, but my irritation and frustration with it are slowly building. She has said she is willing to address the clutter, but actual progress with it has been incredibly slow (she works a lot and often doesn't have energy when she gets home).
I have offered everything I can think of to help with this situation - take everything that is lying out and put it in boxes out of the way, or hire someone to help, but she insists on taking care of the clutter herself. I have offered to take care of all the other house chores so she has time to address the clutter, since this is something I can do without her worrying that I will throw away something important. But she's not doing it, and it's driving me crazy. I don't know how to address this in a sensitive way - I know that she's very busy, and the last thing she wants to do after coming home from working for 12 hours is go through strata of old mess. But the last thing I want to do after coming home from work is see strata of old mess, and I live there too.
How can I be okay with this?