Flakes need friends, too...right?
December 23, 2010 8:15 AM Subscribe
Loaned a friend a smart phone and very soon afterward he dropped it in water. Help me to beanplate how to get over feeling irritated at my friend.
posted by anonymous to human relations (36 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
So my friend had an iPhone for a couple years. He lived and died by it. It was a first gen and got more and more beaten up over time until it finally gave up the ghost. He has an iPhone 4 given to him by a relative, but due to poor credit he would have to pay a ginormous activation deposit, which he didn't have. He started going through some rough times and complained about the lack of iPhone, so I offered him temporary use of my unlocked smart phone as I had gotten a new one. It was my back up for the new phone, as it functioned perfectly being only just over a year old. It was a good phone, just not an iPhone. He took it happily, but later complained about how it was hard to understand how to use. There wasn't much gratitude expressed at any point, but he is kind of a flakey, distracted person.
Fast forward two weeks and he im's me that he accidentally knocked it into water and that it's now dead. No apology, just "Can you believe it?" sort of thing. He is currently trying to dry it out but just signed up for a different carrier/phone. I am currently harboring feelings of irritation but I would like a different perspective. I know that I shouldn't have lent it if I didn't want to part with it forever, and that I should not be surprised when a deeply flakey friend exhibits flakey behavior. The perspective I require is one for looking at the future of this relationship. The blithe, "oh well!" way he shared the news and the lack of updates about the phone's status or offer of returning are things that make me feel as though his flakey nature goes to his core. And this makes me want to extricate myself from the previously close relationship. But I am very conflicted because I may just be being harsh. The only standard by which I can measure his behavior is my own, and I would not have approached the destruction of a $300 piece of property so blithely.