A book to help me get through the loss of my mother.
November 9, 2010 8:01 AM Subscribe
I'm losing my mother. I'm looking for a book to help me deal with the pain.
posted by anonymous to religion & philosophy (30 answers total) 23 users marked this as a favorite
My mother was diagnosed with cancer 4 years ago. She was only given a year to live, but she responded to the treatment better than expected and the time we thought we would never have has been a wonderful gift.
However, things lately have not gone as well. She's been through almost every type of treatment currently available, and they've stopped working. She's still fighting it, but every sign shows that we're coming to the end. The last month has seen her go down hill, and unless something comes up out of the blue, there's not much hope left. All that will be left is to wait.
My father died unexpectedly, and quickly. I had to deal with his death immediately. There was no waiting. That's the only type grief I've ever had to endure. But my mothers death will take more time, and be very tough, and I don't know how to handle it. She really is my best friend and losing her will be devastating to me.
I'm already feeling grief. Even doing simple things, or spending quality time with my mother when she's feeling well, has me on the verge of breaking down. I know there's nothing wrong with crying, but my mother doesn't need me breaking down constantly, and I want to enjoy what little time we have left rather than mourn what hasn't happened yet.
Therapy is not an option. I have family, and they're supportive, but they live in other parts of the country. I know grief is natural and healthy. I know I have to go through it. I accept that. I'm not trying to escape what is coming.
Right now reading (novels/self-help) are one of the only things keeping me sane. I was curious if anyone had a suggestion for something to read that might help me deal with what I'm going through. Something that I could take out during quiet times and take solace in.
I'm not religious (no bible please). I have been reading books on Buddhism lately and I find them very comforting. But I don't know if there are any books that deal more specifically with my situation. (The book doesn't have to be about Buddhism. It can be a novel, or poetry. Books on Buddhism is just one area that I have found comforting.)
I'm basically agnostic, but feel that some form of our energy lives on, or at least the good we do remains once we're gone, and my mother did a lot of good.
Again, I'm not trying to avoid grief. I know I have a lot coming my way. I'm hoping for a companion in the form of a book to help me through it. To help me make sense of this, so I can enjoy what's left of her last days.
Thanks for any help. I do appreciate it.