Wait, am I being Larry David?
November 8, 2010 7:10 AM Subscribe
Invited to an old friend's wedding, but not as a guest. I'm feeling guilty about how I'm feeling... Am I right to feel this way?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (75 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I got a telephone call from a friend/girlfriend from high school, who I've seen a few times since (maybe a meal together every 5 years or so). She lives on the opposite coast (USA).
She told me she was getting married and said she'd like me to photograph the wedding (she had seen some photos from a travel photo show I had and liked them).
So, while I would be at the wedding, I doesn't seem like I'd really be a guest; it feels more like I'd be an employee and busy with taking photos the whole time.
She said that they would pay for my airfare.
They are upper-middle class, while I am living pretty much hand-to-mouth as a student. I can't really afford spending money on all of the rolls of film, the developing, and 2-3 days at a hotel.
But the money aside, I guess what really gets me is the idea that... while I'm good enough to be their photographer (although I've never done a wedding, hate posed shots, and really prefer natural-light black-and-white candids), I'm apparently not good enough for them to even think about asking about paying.
I guess because of the friendship.
But apparently I'm not good enough of a friend to just be invited as a guest..?
Am I wrong to feel put-off?
See, and then I think
"Maybe I should look at this like a glorified groomsman role, where one is supposed to do heavy lifting."
Yet still I feel like a caterer who's been asked to do a wedding pro bono.
Sorry if this comes across as too ChatFiltery, really I'm looking more for a ("No, you're looking at it the wrong way because..." or "No, that was tacky for them to do that") sanity-check.
(I set up an email at email@example.com, if anyone needs to send me anything)