Adjusting romantic expectations?
October 26, 2010 4:51 PM Subscribe
I'm rarely interested in the people who show romantic interest in me, and the people who I'm interested never return the sentiment. What's going on here?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (14 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
The relationships I've had have all arisen from a girl making it quite clear she was interested in me and my going along with it for a bit, before losing interest and breaking things off. I hate this pattern, and I feel like I've hurt people because of it.
However, I've never had interest I've paid to a girl met with a positive response. I'm not socially inept or anything, and have plenty of platonic female friends, but I feel like I just can't successfully court someone. Directly asking someone out, I get a gentle let-down. Being more subtle generally makes women pull away.
I don't think I'm overvaluing myself as a partner: certainly a lot of the women I've dated have been attractive, successful people. I suspect the problem might be one of culture or fashion: I'm a pretty clean-cut professional, and present as such, but my social circle is fairly bohemian, and the girls I find interesting I generally meet through friends.
Other than that, I'm at a loss. Do I need to adjust my preferences to suit the kind of women who are interested in me? How exactly would I do that? Or is the problem more likely with how I communicate, some weirdness that comes out when I pursue someone?