One week into my new job, I slept with my boss. Now what?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (40 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
(I post on here regularly, and if you're a regular reader, you might put 2 and 2 together and figure out who I am. That's fine, I'm just trying to be vague on the details so this doesn't get Googled too easily later on.)
So I just started a new job overseas working for an international company. I've been working at headquarters for the past week and half getting some new projects started, and getting materials together, and then in two days I'll be leaving to go to my regional office.
This all takes place in a country that has a very strong drinking culture. Employees are *expected* to go out with their coworkers and bosses, drinking to the point of tipsiness at best, but more often drunkenness. This is socially acceptable business practice here. So we all went out last Friday. One of my superiors (not my immediate boss. We are both American. He's early 30's, I'm late 20's) started flirting with me over the course of the night. Of course we were drinking heavily, and things started getting pretty flirty. Backing up a few days, ever since my first day of work, I was definitely attracted to him, and could tell there was chemistry between us, but I didn't dare do anything about it; I didn't think it was appropriate, especially considering I was new at work.
Fast forward back to last Friday. The end of the night comes, and he walks me home. He asks if he can see my (company provided, temporary) apartment, and I, knowing fully well what he *actually* meant, said sure, come on up. He was very polite about the whole thing. He's kind of a shy guy, to be honest. Gave me plenty of chances to un-awkwardly end the evening. But I had been drinking, too (I wasn't drunk, but I was definitely uninhibited). And I'm attracted to him! So we had sex. It was good sex, too! He stayed the night, we spooned and cuddled the whole night, he continued to give me kisses all night... He left in the morning to go in to work (I didn't have to work that Saturday), gave me a kiss goodbye, and left. He also purposely left his jacket. (I was watching him get ready in the morning, and I saw him make the conscious decision to leave it)
I don't have a local phone yet, so we didn't talk all weekend. Monday (this) morning I show up to work, and maintain my professional composure. I went in and signed my contract with him today. We definitely exchanged "knowing" glances, but didn't talk about it. I returned his jacket to his desk before he came into work.
He asked me out to dinner tomorrow night (in a pretty casual way, but he switched to his personal email account to ask me). I leave the next morning for the regional office, which is quite a distance (5 hr flight) away. We will both be back and forth to each others' offices frequently, though (every couple months, maybe?). There is a small chance I could be relocating to head office within the next year, either temporarily (a few months at a time), or long term.
I asked a coworker (barely knew her, but we've talked a bit, and she seems trustworthy. Plus, I needed advice), and she reassured me he's absolutely NOT the kind of guy to "sleep with the new girls". He's genuinely a great guy, and she's supportive of any relationship that might occur. In terms of company policy, she said it's an unspoken rule to "work at work, play at play". There are many interoffice relationships (it's a big company), but they only become public once they're "going steady". She said she can't foresee there being any problem, company-wise, with me having any sort of a relationship (sexual or romantic) with him.
SO, all that said... have you ever slept with one of your superiors? How did it turn out? I'm genuinely into this guy, and am interested in seeing where things go. I was attracted to him from day one. (as in, I didn't just sleep with him because we had been drinking). It seems like he's interested in me, too.
Do you think it'll be easier being further apart from each other, where he won't be managing me on a day-to-day basis? I'll have a "main" boss once I've moved to my regional office. If all we end up with is a fling, how do you keep it from going sour, and causing work issues? If it turns out that we get along great, do you think it could work long term?
Basically, any and all advice is appreciated. Throw away email is firstname.lastname@example.org (don't know why it added the co.uk part..., I'm not in the UK)
Thanks in advance!