I've decided to fade away from a specific friendship or at least take a break from it. The problem is, this person is my bridesmaid, my wedding is less than a month away and I have been allowing her actions to overshadow what should be a fun and joyous time for me and my fiance.
First off, I have been going to therapy for the past few months because of wedding planning. It has been helping.
She has a crush on a co-worker. The guy is into food and wine. The wedding is at a well-regarded restaurant. He is a stranger to both myself and my fiance. We are having a small, intimate wedding (she knows this) and the rule has been significant others only (didn't think I explicitly had to explain this to her since I just put her name on the invitation but apparently yes and even then she said since she was in the bridal party, she was entitled to one. Four of the other members of the wedding party are single too and they did not get a plus one), but she made me feel guilty and horrible. She was yelling and hanging up on me and angry texting and then calling me again. I ended up calming her down and giving in because she was so emotional and frankly, I was in shock.
Since then, she has been stressing me out in her attempts to anticipate his needs and accommodate him. The most recent being her thinking he's nervous about not knowing anyone there (third time she's brought it up in the past 48 hours) so she should probably sit with him instead of with the rest of the wedding party. I think it's important to note that she is good friends with people that are attending.
I know I have been enabling her but I have a lot going on and doing what she wanted just seemed like the quickest way for her to STFU but, fuck me, of course she is asking for more. I am well aware I have been stupid and weak in how I've been dealing with her. I thought I was being gracious, but I'm a stupid idiot and I hate myself for allowing it to get this far.
All I wanted her to do was stand beside me and support me. I've known her since freshman year college 12 years ago. This is just making me feel hurt, sad, and used. It's not fair to my fiance who is great and understanding and REALLY patient. She has made it clear where our friendship lies in relation to this guy. I don't want to go to blows with her before or after the wedding. I don't want to have some formal declaration of why she's shitty. I don't want to confront her because I have thought deeply about it and I don't want to salvage this. I would rather just fade out (reading these two askmes
I know the wedding day is going to be great, but the journey to get there causing me anxiety. I mean I'm writing this fucking thing at 2:15AM on Friday night. FFS.
So what do I do between then? Fake it til I make it? Maintain radio silence and speak only through my other bridesmaid (who has been wonderful)? Go to more than one session of therapy a week? Start taking Benadryl to be able sleep at night? Nut up? Do I just need to nut the fuck up?