What to do for a conservative sister's bachelorette party?

September 12, 2010 5:03 PM

What could be planned for a conservative sister's bachelorette party? She doesn't want strippers, but is not opposed to the idea of drinks. I want to do something special for her, but taking her out to a bar with her closest friends just doesn't feel right. Any suggestions?
posted by Pinkuahiru to Society & Culture (24 answers total)

You have to do something a little bit embarrassing, so make sure you get her a veil and a sash.
posted by radioamy at 5:04 PM on September 12, 2010

Home, lots of ingredients for silly mixed drinks, and ridiculous and/or home videos of her and her fiance so people can giggle and share stories and generally have a nice loud evening without having to be in a bar?
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 5:05 PM on September 12, 2010

Would she be interested in a piano or karaoke bar, or something like that? I'm thinking a bar with activities, so drinking isn't the sole focus of your night, and possibly with some potential for embarrassing-fun activities.
posted by MadamM at 5:09 PM on September 12, 2010

Maybe a day at the spa- you can sometimes rent out areas at the spa and have drinks and messages, or hang out in a hot tub/ sauna. Its a fun way to relax and drink in a quieter, more intimate setting. Where are you located? I have a few places in mind...
posted by tessalations999 at 5:10 PM on September 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

For my bachelorette party, my friends rented a cabana room at the Beverly Hilton. We went to a fancy restaurant for dinner, drinks at a bar, and had a slumber party at the hotel. The next day we just lounged around the pool. It was a lot of fun.
posted by Miss X at 5:12 PM on September 12, 2010

My favorite bachelorette party ever was a classic teen-style slumber party (with alcohol, of course). Invite all your friends over, wear pajamas, make frozen margaritas and other yummy drinks with fruit in them, sing along to 80s (or whatever era you grew up in) pop songs using your hairbrush as a microphone, gossip about which boys are cute, watch girlie movies, and then fall asleep on air mattresses. It's silly and fun and delightful without being seedy or cliched, and it's a sort of perfect way to bookend the era of your life that began in your teens with the realization that you were a single woman.
posted by decathecting at 5:20 PM on September 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

My bridesmaids planned an evening that included drinks at a fancy cocktail bar, really delicious tapas, a wedding-themed scavenger hunt for the guests on the way to and from dinner (I was the judge), and cake and movies and marginally embarrassing reminiscing about my awkward high school years back at someone's apartment. It was fun, didn't embarrass me in public, and there was nary a penis-shaped cake or stripper in sight.
posted by Meg_Murry at 5:21 PM on September 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

(Meant to add--I'm probably fairly similar to your sister in terms of not wanting a wild bachelorette party, so much so that my maid of honor made a point of calling me and telling me, "Don't worry, we're not going to embarrass you or do anything weird.")
posted by Meg_Murry at 5:22 PM on September 12, 2010

This may not be suitable for a "conservative" girl but how bout a drag show? Transgressive without being skeevy.

Paintball?
posted by Ladysin at 5:28 PM on September 12, 2010

Many local dance studios run one-off girls-night-out pole-dancing or belly-dancing lessons. No guys around, so it can be good clean girly fun, but there's still the slightly naughty angle.

Alternatively, group lingerie shopping, with a giftcard for the bride-to-be?
posted by Bardolph at 5:34 PM on September 12, 2010

My sister's bachelorette party was a lingerie shower with her best friends and my mother. The lingerie was the most risque thing there (and, really, it was very tasteful).
posted by ocherdraco at 5:37 PM on September 12, 2010

Sounds crazy, but worked for a friend of my wife: paintball. Seriously, the ladies were all into it.

I'd recommend not doing it too close to the wedding though, just in case.
posted by digitalprimate at 5:40 PM on September 12, 2010

I am not a lady, but I've been to a piano bars on a night when there were a few bachelorette parties in attendance, and it was a lot of icky misogynist stuff - "now the bride pretends to give a blowjob!" etc. It's too bad, because "night out at the piano bar" sure seems like a great idea, but I wouldn't recommend it, especially if your sister is more conservative.
posted by rossination at 5:41 PM on September 12, 2010

Girly Burlesque show? I know some conservative friends of mine thought they were being totally edgy at the mildest burlesque and had a whale of a time. All female audience might be good, or you could hire a dancer.

Also, people love bellydancers/bellydancing lessons. Maybe even Bollywood style, where everyone gets shown how to dress up in saris and whatnot.
posted by shinybaum at 5:47 PM on September 12, 2010

What about a cooking class? I don't know where/who would be good for this in [your area], but it might be fun to learn how to make dinner, then eat and enjoy it together.

Not really canonical bachelorette kind of stuff, but something that people might enjoy.
posted by sciencegeek at 5:50 PM on September 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

How about a comedy club? My cousins took me to a comedy club and we had a great time. I'm really shy and the comedian made fun of me for getting married. It was so much fun for me!
posted by LightMayo at 6:03 PM on September 12, 2010

Retro ten-pin bowling, dressed in 50s fancy dress?
posted by hot soup girl at 6:10 PM on September 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

A bar.
posted by ovvl at 6:13 PM on September 12, 2010

We went to a wine bar for mine. I like wine, and good food, so it was great. It was a little bit of an upscale treat, and not as smoky and loud as hanging out at just a regular bar. No penis-shaped cakes or male dancers involved. For my best friend's bachelorette party, we had pizza and beer and watched stupid wedding-themed movies ironically. For my sister-in-law's we went to a piano bar (it was really crowded, and there was more than one person there in a fake veil). It was fun, and they didn't pull her on stage and embarrass her or anything. She's not a big drinker, either, so it was nice that the focus was on the music instead of just getting plowed.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 6:15 PM on September 12, 2010

High tea, with extra champagne.
posted by embrangled at 6:23 PM on September 12, 2010 [4 favorites]

Best answer: Spa day. I'm pretty conservative too, and my bridesmaids put together a half-day at a local spa and we all got manicures and pedicures and a 30-minute massage. They all brought snacks and mimosas and we sat around and talked and laughed. The spa cycled us all through (I think there were 8 of us) in about 4 hours. It was great!

Logistics wise, everyone paid for themselves, and I think they each paid about $100 each. The salon owner worked with them to plan it all out.
posted by Mimzy at 6:33 PM on September 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thanks to everyone to responded to this! There were some really good ideas in here, but I think the spa ideas were the best for this particular occasion.
posted by Pinkuahiru at 7:09 PM on September 12, 2010

For my friend's bachelorette party, we went to a local spa and got massages and paraffin hand treatments and made our own scented lotion. After that, we had dinner and then rented a room at the Embassy Suites and had a sleepover (with a yummy breakfast the next day) It was lots of fun.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:28 PM on September 12, 2010

Some of the best bachelorette parties I've been to simply ignored the whole bachelorette angle altogether. We've done: bowling, karoke, spa day, fondue, or some combination of those along with food and drinks. I love the painball idea, and the belly dancing one, too.
posted by 8dot3 at 6:22 AM on September 13, 2010