Help me decide between a frenum piercing and a PA

September 2, 2010 2:15 PM

Help me decide between a frenum piercing and a PA [NSFW]

Background: I'm new to piercings but recently decided to get one. I've had friends and lovers with PA's, and I've always enjoyed their "feel". I've also been told that PA's can really enhance sexual pleasure (both with a partner and solo). So, my interest is piqued.

On the other hand, I'm not sure that I'm ready for the kind of permanent body mod that a PA would entail. Even if you decide to take it out, you're always going to have a hole in your dick pretty much forever (or am I mistaken in that?). So, I'm a little reluctant to take that step. I was thinking about starting out with a frenum piercing -- maybe just a barbell -- something a little less drastic than a full-on PA.

So, questions for people with PAs, frenums or both:

1) What is the subjective amount of pain experienced during the actual piercing? One of my ex's told me a PA feels like getting pinched really hard. True? Or is he just a pain freak?

2) What is the healing time like for both? How long before you can get back in the saddle, so to speak?

3) Am I right to be hesitant or should I just power through my fears and get a PA?

Thanks in advance!

posted by Azazel Fel to grab bag (10 answers total)

My single-point anecdatum states that with a P.A., you will no longer be able to use a urinal.
posted by griphus at 2:17 PM on September 2, 2010

My ex had a barbell. I think it was at the base of his penis, where the shaft meets the scrotum. I could be wrong. I never saw it. Why? Because it was ripped out mid-coitus years before I met him. (The silver lining is that he was fine by then. If that can really be considered a silver lining.)
posted by greekphilosophy at 2:23 PM on September 2, 2010 [2 favorites]

> Am I right to be hesitant or should I just power through my fears and get a PA?

Those fears are good and natural and shouldn't be "powered" through without long deliberation. You can always get it done later.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:24 PM on September 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

The difference in pain between a PA and a frenum is slight and varies from person to person. Most would probably say a PA hurts a little more, a smaller group would say they're the same, some would say less. It really depends upon how thick and sensitive your skin is in each area, if the piercer uses a topical anesthetic inside your urethra for a PA, and what you are expecting. That is, if you expect a lot of pain, you'll be pleasantly surprised. If you don't, it'll hurt. But the difference between the two is not so great that it should be a deciding factor. Decide what you want for other reasons.

A PA is generally more pleasing for the wearer than a frenum. For their partner, it varies a lot. For both the size, shape, and style of jewellery can have an impact on the sensation.

How long to get back in the saddle varies a lot too. It probably takes less time with a frenum, but I wouldn't let that be a deciding factor if a PA is what you really want. With properly fitting jewellery, a condom (something you'd be wise to wear for the 2-3 months of proper healing time) is more comfortable to wear with a fresh frenum as opposed to a fresh PA, and can mean you are active again sooner.

There is no easy answer as to how permanent the hole is if you choose a PA. If you remove it in the first year, it would probably shrink shut but not seal shut. After several years it probably would shrink shut as well, but take a lot longer assuming you had not stretched it up beyond 6ga. But it should not be too much of a worry. If you remove it, you can urinate as normal by covering the hole with a finger tip.

If you're wanting to start with a frenum with an eye to getting a PA later you can, but you'll want to tell the piercer you're planning to do this so that they leave enough room for a PA. And remember the sensory boost for the wearer is not as significant with a frenum as opposed to a PA. But if a PA is what you really want, I wouldn't dither about with the half-step of trying a frenum first. If you don't like it and change you mind in the short term, it shouldn't be a permanent change. And if you really like it, the additional inconveniences are easily coped with.
posted by K.P. at 2:45 PM on September 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

1. Mine felt something like a pinch, nothing noteworthy and the expectation was way over the reality.

2. There are 2 aspects to next having sex. Healing is one but movement of the metal is another. For the healing be sure to drink lots of water so you urinate regularly, try to wear boxers or something loose so the air can circulate. I think mine was good inside 2 weeks but take it gently when taking it for the first few test drives.

3. Griphus has the single most important consideration. No more standing up to pee. Well you can with a twist and careful aim but the penalty for failure is visible. So sit down each time is it. It's not so bad.

Oh - one more important consideration. If you want to receive oral stimulation then metal+ teeth...

If it feels too uncomfortable go back and ask that the ring sizing be checked. It could be too large. And then think about stretching the piercing up. It could become more comfortable to wear and more exciting to use.

You are not mistaken about the hole being permanent.

I've had one for some 16+ years and not regretted it for a moment. Of course YMMV.
posted by markx2 at 2:49 PM on September 2, 2010

I'm here to chime in and say, experience some more pierced cocks in person, hear the stories that go with those piercings. Maybe get something else of yours pierced.

While you're doing those things, think long and hard (ha) about putting holes in your junk.
posted by bilabial at 2:51 PM on September 2, 2010

I've had a frenum for a decade and a half and love it. A very low maintenance piercing and healing was quick.
posted by spartacusroosevelt at 3:01 PM on September 2, 2010

I have a PA but not a frenum so my comments are made about the PA only.

You can get holes in a condom from the unyielding nature of the metal - and the condom inhibits the PA's motion which is a lot of the delight. If you are barebacking then it feels wonderful. I tore through lots of condoms and now take the jewelry out if I'm using one. I've had the PA for fifteen years and the jewelry can stay out for 24 h - longer and there is potential for slight closure, keep an insertion taper handy.

Healing is very fast - much faster than (e.g.) nipples, which took me four weeks to heal. The first couple times you pee it will hurt, then it won't be much of an issue. The acute pain during the piercing is about as intense as a bee sting but much shorter in duration. Find a good, well-known, careful piercer who will ensure that the gauge of the jewelry matches the needle gauge s/he uses. Undersized jewelry leads to a lot of bleeding (this happened on one of my other piercings) and it is Profoundly Unsettling if you see your penis bleeding.

Seconding markx2 about the risk to your partner's dental work.

The "sprinkler effect" has not been a problem for me, my PA is 4ga so it could be as you gauge up it gets more pronounced. A 90 degree twist of the unit suffices to keep the stream where you point it, but it does take practice.
posted by jet_silver at 8:04 PM on September 2, 2010

The sitting-to-pee thing varies both from person to person and depending on what jewelry is worn.

(That said, it definitely won't happen with a frenum.)

Also: apadravya.
posted by box at 11:48 AM on September 4, 2010

In case anybody is still reading: I ended up getting my nipples pierced instead, and so far I love them! Thanks to everybody for the advice!
posted by Azazel Fel at 9:27 AM on September 18, 2010