It bothers me way too much that my wife has stopped reading for fun
July 15, 2010 8:02 AM Subscribe
My wife has stopped reading for pleasure. I'm a writer. This is really starting to bother me.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (91 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
My wife used to read for fun, not nearly as much as me, but some. Now, especially since we've had a child, it's obviously fallen way down on her priority list. I can't remember the last time she cracked a book that didn't have to do with work or child rearing.
I know, I know, people's priorities change, especially once kids are in the picture. It's her life, and her very limited spare time. You can't expect your partner to be into everything you are to the same degree. I feel terrible, selfish, controlling that this is starting to bother me so much.
But it does. Books and writing are a major part of my life, maybe the major part, that we don't share any more. I don't want to monologue about all the books I read. I feel like a musician whose partner has stopped listening to music.
What's my problem? Why do I care so much? I hate to say it, but I can't help but feel that my respect for her, as an intellectually curious person, is starting to suffer. That scares me. I know she's still the same smart woman I married. But still. Now she spends her spare time working, watching reality TV, or--very occasionally--browsing through parenting magazines or the "Style" section of the NYT.
We've talked about it, and she gets defensive, like I'm accusing her of something. I buy her books, offer to help make time for her to read, but the desire just doesn't seem to be there any more.
What can I do? Either get over it, accept the change, or help her get back into something she misses. I know. But...how?