Always have a plan b
June 28, 2010 8:04 AM Subscribe
What's the best way to keep things light and limit embarrassment for both people if the other person rejects you when you make a move?
posted by anonymous to human relations (25 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
I did a search; perhaps my GoogleFu has failed me, but I didn't find anything directly dedicated to this, and we are all snowflakes.
I think I've finally worked up the nerve to make the first move on a guy because I'm tired of wondering where I stand. We talk a lot, he's expressed very pointed interest in spending time with me, but the few times we've gotten together in person, he's never even come close to making what I'd perceive as a move. Add this to him becoming hard to pin down when the time to get together approaches, despite earlier discussions initiated by him about specific plans including dates, times, and activities, and I go back and forth on whether he's interested. I don't want to speak for him, but I'm pretty confident in asserting that we're both more socially awkward, or at least shy, than not. I've convinced myself that resolution is more important than pride which is pretty much unprecedented. However, I want a graceful exit strategy should he reject my overtures.
What's the best way you know to play off rejection of a move to minimize awkwardness? I'm okay being friends with this guy if he's not romantically interested in me. I like him and would be open to seeing where things could lead, but if that's not what he's looking for, I'm comfortable with that and won't pine away. It's the immediate situational awkwardness that I'm worried about. I know I can get over the rejection itself, but the remembered embarrassment is a different story. How do I play it off in the moment to limit the awkwardness as much as possible and make it clear that I'm largely cool with what just happened and would like to continue being friends? All I can come up with is a playful comment along the it was worth a try line and that seems weak.
I know a positive attitude going in would probably be a far better way to approach this, but if I don't have some sort of contingency strategy ready, I know I'll never follow through on making the move.